Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, he spoke with my mom and the fact that she wants me dead is a huge red flag. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML
Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
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Top comments
thepersonyouknow 9
They were probably trying to do it without being jerks
TrueTriage 16
Boyfriend: Babe I need to talk to you about something OP: Me too! But first a magic trick! Boyfriend: Ok..? OP; Abra, Kadabra, you're single. Bitch.
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Comments (119)
whiteboy896 9
Wow...beat em to the punch OP!
TrueTriage 16
Boyfriend: Babe I need to talk to you about something OP: Me too! But first a magic trick! Boyfriend: Ok..? OP; Abra, Kadabra, you're single. Bitch.
chowE_fml 4
HE BE LIKE **** BITCHES ! GET $$$$
lilhellian 27
Wait, so if I **** female dogs I get free dollar signs?! :o Sweet!
kkamp516 10
It's called the "Boston Marathon". Heard it's supposed to be pretty bomb.
EventCats 6
#40: Probably something like this: She walks in and the house is filled with candles. There is a trail of rose pedals leading up into his bedroom. There sits the boyfriend on the bed covered in rose pedals. She gets very excited and jumps in the bed... Only to shoved by her boyfriend and everyone comes into the room and says, "SURPRISE. YOU'RE SINGLE NOW!"
katties 27
*whispering* petals
EventCats 6
Oops... Never realize typos before it's too late
aliyourpally 12
His mom has nothing to do with your break up.
lilhellian 27
We don't know age, wether or not is a "good girl" or any of that. I really would like more details.
lovelyleah 10
Apparently she DOES.
Astarea 22
I think he meant to say "she SHOULDN'T have anything to do with it" but clearly she did, which is sad.
Sekkaichi 12
From the FML, I'm guessing OP's ex was a Momma's boy. Mom played a huge role on the break up if she was plotting with him.
Mr_Satan 11
Yes, cause asking ones mom for advice is just horribly unnatural.... not too bright of him to pow wow about it when op was home tho...
spazz666 18
Or maybe he just wanted his moms opinion/help breaking it to OP? Jeez, can't a mother and son be close anymore?
eyepuppy 31
@115, agreed.
Sekkaichi 12
I'm not close to my parents, so you might be right, #115,116. I was thinking that OP's boyfriend/ex wasn't asking for advice and that his Mom wanted him to break up with her too.
Catkam623 27
Well now we know where he gets it from.
Damian95 16
I guess being an asshole IS genetic.
katties 27
The act of breaking up doesn't itself make anyone an asshole. Neither does talking about it with your mom. We really can't know the circumstances here.
jamjam12 15
55 thank you! I really don't understand why everyone is calling this guy an asshole! As far as we know, he didn't even do anything wrong. And yeah it sucks what happened to OP, but is it really FML worthy?
Keevarou 17
If being an asshole is genetic, then I would suspect that my mom have lied to me about where I am from :P
icemand90 17
are you implying that she is and you aren't? or vise versa?
thepersonyouknow 9
They were probably trying to do it without being jerks
M3DIC4T3 29
Well they failed.
NagainaFier 16
In all honesty, it's not their fault she overheard. Not saying I agree with them doing this while she's within ear shot (or at all), but playing devil's advocate.
juliaannw 11
Show him whats good, get someone better so he can watch you be happy without him.
Genociiide 15
Do you practice the jealously tatic? Because that's really just using someone,and is unfair to the one you're using. OP just find someone who is amazing for YOUR sake, **** you douchebag (ex) boyfriend.
SMHsohard 22
Considering he was the one doing the breaking up, my guess is that her being happy with someone else isn't going to mean a fart in a high wind to him.
BrookRae 19
Please do tell how that makes someone a douche for breaking up with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Genociiide 15
It's the fact that he was discussing it with his mother while she was within earshot that makes him a douchebag, nobody wants to hear their significant other asking their mom how to get rid of them. He should've done it while she wasn't around then broke up with her face to face. At least that's my opinion.
BrookRae 19
You're actually jumping to conclusions. None of us know whether or not he knew she heard him talking to his mom about it. So your "opinion" isn't even an opinion. It's just an assumption.
Genociiide 15
Every opinion is valid really, it doesn't matter what it is. It also doesn't really matter if he knew or not, its still wrong to talk about it while she was able to overhear. I didn't say anything about him knowing she overheard.
BrookRae 19
You actually did. Reread your comments.
Genociiide 15
nope, don't see it.
LolFMLnot 10
Well, if he had to go to his mom for advice for a break up he wasn't a real man.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Considering all the fml breakups I don't think he's that bad. Maybe he went to his mom to get advice on how to do it gently, as opposed to writing messages on a mirror or making out with some girl in front of her.
Wizardo 34
Quit before you're fired :) works every time...
ajeppsen 25
I don't see the point in that. Unless it's to keep her dignity.
Wizardo 34
Yh that IS the whole point, its not fair if its being planned like this.
blessedbylife 6
your style is impeccable sir (or ma'am)
noelasis94 18
Now you need to find a way to make a mix of Jerry springer and wwe out of this best of luck to you and keep us informed.
Blackphoenix 9
Well time to dump him before you become the dumpee.
tacojauns 45
That was the plan all along talk about breaking up to break up