Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML
Today, I had to tell my 30 year-old boyfriend to take a shower, or else he won't for a week. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML
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Top comments
missanderson813 4
I don't get guys. They can write their name in snow perfectly but can't aim for a large hole.
Enslaved 38
Sometimes, I wish that home restrooms also came with built in urinals.):
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Comments (156)
kylesgirlforever 12
You would think he would know better by now:) he needs to learn to aim
epicwaffles 7
Does he tell you to put the seat up?
novakman 0
If you just put the seat up when you are done then there wouldn't be a problem
marinus_fml 20
One does not simply... Miss the toilet seat.
iTz_x_BurneddPs3 0
It doesn't start out as a perfect stream.. It gradually works its way to one.. Ppl need to understand that and not complain so much.. Or he should be smart and just clean it off if he happens to do it.
mduerden 18
Try the Cheerios method, if he wants the act like a careless inexperienced child then treat him as such
trollfaced 2
At least he can clean it? He's like my cousin who pees all over the toilet seat, wall, and the floor. This is one of the reasons why people don't want to live in this generation
missamazinggg 12
^because peeing on toilet seats is what's wrong with this generation.
spekledworf 18
Guys need the seat down too sometimes. It makes sense to leave it down for everyone's sake!
Calyx_fml 22
I hate to say it but even with the seat up there is lots of urine splash all over the bathroom and your legs. It's pretty gross. It may not matter in public toilets but at home, where I have to clean it, I sit to pee. It's much cleaner. On another note, most men don't know how to use the urinal. They piss on the back or into the water, which is guaranteed to splash piss everywhere. Use a urinal naked and you'll feel it splashing all over your legs. The right way (the way almost no men do) is to piss on the SIDE of the urinal so the splash ricochets away from you into the urinal, not back onto you. it's simple physics, guys.
iamyourgod 3
One does not simply aim their urine! It's like trying to use a garden hose with one of those nozzles that can generate a whole bunch of different patterns, but having no clue which one it is on, varying pressure, and sometimes random switches of nozzle type.
nofearjenshere 12
^ You sit to pee? Thats not normal.
nofearjenshere 12
My comment was directed towards 88. :b
DQEight 8
90- I sit to pee at home at night to avoid waking others from the noise... As long as you don't have a boner it's easy
muFilter 19
I'll be sure to use a urinal naked the next chance I get. Thanks for the recommendation. I don't know why I hadn't though of this earlier.
Calyx_fml 22
And why must I be normal? Why must anyone?
poopshreds 10
the only time I sit to pee is in the morning where I do the reverse straddle because of morning wood
JodeMiVida 13
Now that's dispraysful.
karkid619 8
No. Just no.
peachesncreem 21
Disprayful? What was that supposed to be?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
47, A pun on disgraceful, I think.
domking1315 20
I takr it you're not a comedian are you?
afunnyterdcody 5
Wow I kinda thought it was a funny comment
KoolKat369 5
Guys, why the rude comments?? That's the best!! Made my day reading that comment.
GirlYouNasty 11
That's terrible. You should be dispraysed.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
59- *take
Elle128 0
Lord...
juturnaamo 29
Oh my god! Someone made a mistake, twice! Before this happened, were you nagging him about forgetting to put the seat down?
wyatt141 6
It's gonna happen the rest of your life, we're guys we just piss, we don't pay attention! Haha
Rorix 6
I'm a guy too, but I'm not an animal. For shit's sake...
_Oblivion_ 12
I can only imagine how fast you'll be kicked out of your house when youget married. Us guys miss sometimes but not to the point that we just whip it out and piss away
florido_fml 10
Don't listen to these losers who have been house trained. We could whip it out n piss anywhere.
seymourw 1
Then what are you? A plant? A mineral? Humans are animals, like it or not.
sissors1234 4
Still no reason and the man don't kick t Da lady out lady kicks man out. Don't go anyway but dat. Let not get crazy. To: oblivion
gc327072 31
^^ Holy crap, where's DocBastard's Idiot Translation Machine™ when you need it?!
emmaa3451 11
If it happens again get a training potty xD
micahsmommy 13
Cheerios make great targets to aim at. If OP makes it a game he might go for it.
Enslaved 38
Sometimes, I wish that home restrooms also came with built in urinals.):
DreamForMe 0
Trust me it's not that easy when one is under a lot of pressure.
Urbanchiller 0
Ya he needs to aim where your head is.
missanderson813 4
I don't get guys. They can write their name in snow perfectly but can't aim for a large hole.
phantumgrey 6
Holes should be tight do you think?!
sadistmonkey 19
Generally when you write in snow, it's over a bigger area than the typical size of a toilet bowl. I don't know why it's so difficult to aim but sometimes it just is. On the other hand, the decent thing to do would be to clean up after yourself if you do miss.
ankoku 2
When the hole gets too big most of us guys won't even try to get it in there.
Pelreskovich 11
You need to take a roll of toilet paper and put an "X" with marker on each perforated piece and when you're done using the bathroom leave one piece afloat for him to aim at!
marinus_fml 20
Apparently ping pong balls are better. They don't get flushed down. **** knows what happens when you're taking a dump though.