Anonymous
United States
Relationship goals
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
lizann
Scottsdale, United States
Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
Anonymous
Party animal
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
juggalo2
Troy, United States
Dude, gross!
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Anonymous
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
kimmybr
United States
Still warm
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Carpet cleaner
Canada
Wait for the hangover
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
anti-peecleaner
United States
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Anonymous
Love is…
Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML
hnickell93
Visalia, United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Top comments
tbear4prez 14
I think you actually have to try to miss when pooping...
Patriots21 14
Tell him to place his fartbox over the water, not the toilet seat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (80)
Patriots21 14
Tell him to place his fartbox over the water, not the toilet seat.
Ms_ValS 27
You mean to say that your husband simply left his shit that missed the toilet bowl for you to clean? You should tell him that he's a grown ass adult and you are not his maid. Frankly, I'd just kick his ass.
HAMY_fml 23
How?
bahamit 18
He's just trying to help get you used to future potty training. Still that sucks...
theTravinator 21
I'd recommend having a bathroom where the whole floor is a pit of kitty litter, that way it's impossible to miss unless he defies the odds and ***** horizontally at the wall
iAlissa 34
That'd be so disgustingly impressive.
ironmany_fml 23
It is not that difficult to shit on the wall actually
giantsfan2010 23
I know right just stick your ass on the wall and let it go
BigJoeZD 16
@35 His response in spite is to shit outside the bathroom door
tbear4prez 14
I think you actually have to try to miss when pooping...
emeraldisle 30
Why do men think this is acceptable behaviour? My fiancé does the same thing. Luckily it's been only piss so far.
kmaheynoway 25
Please, don't generalize men. As a man myself I would never do this.
Markovski 18
I am a man and I don't do that, ever.
milehigh52 22
Maybe it's your taste in men that is the problem. I'd appreciate it if you didn't generalize men just because your fiancé is gross.
Llama_Man2000 26
Tell him that if he does it again you will make him wear a diaper.
vikky538 29
It only works if OP doesn't have to change his diapers now and then
az1z_official 17
He has defiantly been playing too meany angry birds
az1z_official 17
I mean definitely ^
ontheFLY4 25
I think you also mean many.
e_is_for_eli 12
pretty sure the spelling wasn't the primary issue with this comment
shemademedoit 20
to start off. what does angry bird have to do with toilet aim? I don't think he goes to take a dump angry.
Uuhohspagettios 6
He probably meant that he was too busy playing a game while on the toilet to worry about being clean and getting the deed done.
WCARlover 35
The only thing I can think of was he did it to "get back at you" for nagging him about him missing when he was peeing
fakedsincerity 32
eugh. I'd like to believe there are no grown men out there that childish and disgusting. D:
joshi42 16
But how?
insideoutoreo33 8
It takes some serious talent to miss the toilet taking a duece...fyl op
Bragi 12
Was he drunk?
devildog562 33
Does it matter ? I can understand drunk peeing but wtf.
laden_swallow09 35
With inebriation, all logic goes out the door.