Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML
Today, my mom decided she wants to try a new family bonding experiment: Being naked around the house for an entire week. She wants us all to eat dinner, watch tv, etc. completely naked. She says she will ground me and my siblings if we don't try it. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML
Today, my grandma told me she likes to clean the house naked every day. I'm staying there all next week. FML
Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
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Top comments
then000bster 16
Say hello to the twins for me!
theaaxis 27
I hope for your sake she doesn't invite any "fellow nudists" over for dinner.
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Comments (95)
then000bster 16
Say hello to the twins for me!
fareith 15
Perhaps a fashionable blindfold would suit you well?
_GoodGuy 11
Find your inner nudist, eh em, inner buddhist.
perdix 31
#1, sometimes, "the girls" don't bear much of a resemblance to one another. Now I have the visual of the mom dancing naked with the big one clumsily and lazily flopping from side to side while the little one flits about in double-time. Thanks for getting me started!
Djjooze 4
Saggy this the.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
44 - You make it sound like you don't like what you just described. We all know you do ;-)
SlapAndTickle 20
44- Now the question is, who is going to help you finish?
Mauskau 36
I've seen my parents walk around naked too. It really isn't pleasant when you think about the fact you came from there. Hopefully your mum isn't very fat like mine. I feel your pain, OP. Just don't invite anyone over for a while.
lilhellian 27
Yes, because that image was needed. >.>
LolFMLnot 10
I find it disturbing that you've even seen your dad naked. That's something u should never see if you are a girl.
jem970 19
Sometimes it cant be helped. I walked in on my parents going at it on the couch and saw my dad do the bare-assed-dash to his room while my mom screamed like a girl. The hazards of living with the 'rents.
SirTalkaton 22
The 'rents. I like that. With permission, I shall use it.
theaaxis 27
I hope for your sake she doesn't invite any "fellow nudists" over for dinner.
killer6969 16
Unless their hot of course and to your liking
_GoodGuy 11
Bring friends over constantly, so your mom doesn't want to go nude then... If so, FYL
golden_warrior 23
That's a great idea! Why not bring the whole neighbourhood over? I'm sure that will get her to stop
JACKxRAWR 22
Not nice. Mind you, if people think your mum is a MILF you could take some covert snaps and make some money on the internet. Sorry, my inner entrepreneur took a VERY creepy turn there. I'll go back to sleep now.
evilraider 5
Judging from you
JACKxRAWR 22
Huh? If you want to verbally attack me you'll have to say something that makes sense first. :)
RedPillSucks 33
It's the suspense of wondering what comes next that gets you...
Ambient25 25
Are you sure ChatRoulette isn't on her computer somewhere?
Zebediabolical 45
There are no women on ChatRoulette. Just guys hanging brain.
darwinism 30
Just join in really early in the morning. If that doesn't stop her, then nothing will.
perdix 31
Her house, her rules! If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Put on the Justin Bieber CD and show her your awesome helicoptering skills and that will probably ruin naked dancing for her.
Danielle7994 18
Wouldn't he need to have a long enough penis to do this?
perdix 31
#14, not necessarily. While it would be disturbing to see him whipping around a big dick, it would probably be equally disturbing or worse to see him trying to spin around his stubbie.
Danielle7994 18
16, That's also true. But it probably would just look like he's wagging it up and down with his two fingers. I actually had to look this term up on urbandictionary.com. The first result meant when a man slaps his penis on the woman's face - which is also a disturbing picture.
flockz 20
^have you ever watched ****?
Danielle7994 18
Yup lol. All the time. I'm saying it's disturbing since it's his mother's face that he will be slapping.
perdix 31
#18, two fingers? That's huge! I have to use a little lasso made of dental floss, . . ., er, I mean, I've heard some guys have to use a little lasso made of dental floss to whip it around.
jem970 19
This thread... to many mental images... pass me the brain bleach!
Danielle7994 18
27, That sounds pretty dangerous though. If dental floss is tied too tight, wouldn't OP's penis turn purple and fall off?
laden_swallow09 35
If you keep it on there for a good few dozen consecutive hours, sure. It'd be hurting long before that would happen.
Danielle7994 18
40, Maybe if it was erect - which is yet another disturbing picture (only because it is his mother that's currently in the room). I'm assuming that during the time that he's tying a lasso around his penis, it IS flaccid. Don't forget it's tiny as well. Clearly not even big enough to be held by 2 fingers.
JACKxRAWR 22
Don't think you need to be massive to helicopter. I can and I presume I'm fairly average.
RedPillSucks 33
This is disturbing that you guys know so much about this. Also, what of OP is female?
JACKxRAWR 22
#73, I've got lots of spare time on my hands. ;)
sleepwalker13 25
Your mom sounds very unpredictable. :P
avapaige1234 19
If I were you I would take my shirt off and dance with my mom! Would be a nice bonding moment
420Zombie 17
Well... I dunno about you, but when I see my mom naked the LAST thing I think about is stripping naked myself