Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, during gym class, I wanted to show off in front of my classmates by doing a headstand in the middle of the gym. I wanted to hold the position, except my shirt came out of my pants and exposed my belly and breasts to all my classmates. Everyone burst out laughing. It was so embarrassing. FML
Today, I ran a mile for my gym class. While I managed to cut two minutes off my time, a few minutes later I felt dizzy and nauseous, which I thought was because I pushed myself too hard. I collapsed and vomited in front of everyone. Not a single person moved to help me. Not even the teacher. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML
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Top comments
Eashag 3
Lol FYL, stupid teacher.
Juli_fml 0
your teacher sounds like an ass
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Comments (145)
Person1233 13
EDIT: The FML commenting system makes me want to murder and rape cupcakes.
cupcakeofevil 0
dont rape me.
riku3220 2
EDIT: Nevermind.
Paper_Tiger 0
That sucks. FYL Still funny as hell though.
cerebellum_fml 0
its a girl and karma is a bitch
plexico 4
I'll bet your gastric distress relieved everybody else's stress. Laughter is the best medicine, so you're practically frickin' Florence Nightengale!
the_stereotype 0
how do you even manage to do that? just FAIL.
Hellcrapdamn 0
If this had been on Youtube instead of here it would have made today a good day.
DrunkenValor 0
It's semi pro all over again!
metonymy 0
Well, laughter relieves stress too, and there's less chance of it making you puke, so...
besad_fml 0
I Hate p.e. we are playing football and so far I got hit on the head 2 times!