Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML
Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML
Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML
Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML
Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML
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Top comments
WavinFlag 3
just cuzz they are changing it doesnt really mean its broken...maybe they want the soft ones...
Valentina_Baby 7
It didn't say she broke it
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Comments (100)
xxXJakeXxx 2
You fat a$$. how'd you break it?
painlessmind 11
haha sitting on the pot smoking pot all day
WavinFlag 3
just cuzz they are changing it doesnt really mean its broken...maybe they want the soft ones...
hellogoodbye1996 6
I like how if they comment first it's bad but of they comment a real comment it gets thumbs down..wow just wow
sxe_beast 11
Wow, people need to stop getting so defensive over fat jokes.
mightymart 5
wow youre really dumb and gullable.. talk about being trolled big time!
sweetcheeksjvl 0
I hate it when the broken toilet seat bites your ass....you know what I'm talking about!
DesB 7
Now this is what I don't get...why do people always have to mention pot in comments? It's not something cool, it's stupid and there's no point to it just like fat jokes there stupid. You push someone so far as to commit suicide.
tona01 16
keevarou you changed your hair, tired of being called curt cobain??
PurpleRae420 0
Lol your a woman and you fixed a toliet seat without a man that is an acomplishment that goes to show women really don't need men for everything!
dcam13 19
lol i remember my first time learning how a screwdriver works...
ahole123 0
OP, you deserve a high five
peachesbeach 0
you change toilet seats?? :/
PurpleChick96 3
you only change them if it's broke. if it ain't broke don't fix it. Lol.
Oohgaloof 0
Proud?; accomplish?；toilet seat?; figured out?; Bitch, what you doing outside the kitchen? You ass better be proud in accomplishing after finally figuring out how to make that perfect sandwich before I get back home and make yo' reconize, ho!
nocarehere 0
^win
danielleeycakes 3
I thought you were supposed to change your toilet seat every once and a while.. that's what my parents do. they actually just changed them the other day. ._.
marinus_fml 20
You're supposed change the toilet seat every time you take a dump.
PurpleChick96 3
lmfao.
alaskasfml 0
toilets have seats? o.o
HomeAl0ne 20
You can, but they have to want to change.
Nick_1993 2
whoa whoa now! what is even a toilet?
thisisLAUREN 0
you don't change it only if it's broken! sometimes they're just plain ugly or old looking and you want a new one. cheaper than getting a full new toilet !
jess6blondie9 3
2 - I hope you were being sarcastic... If not, you're making us blondes look even more stupid than we're already steryotyped as.
Valentina_Baby 7
It didn't say she broke it
Thtguyukno 2
Good for you, now change to paper roll. :p
dezinspaaace 0
*HIGH FIVE* :D
giantsfan2010 23
Very nice, high five!
TheMystery_fml 6
I request the highest of fives
Elwin93 9
We've got a toilet seat that can be disconnected for cleaning purpose. Never heard of a seat where you can actually change the seat.
Yousuck24 21
How DO you change a toilet sit?
Yousuck24 21
*seat
MRobvious750 0
Once again I just have to say it........your an idiot.
Yousuck24 21
How am I an idiot? I get the last time you call me an idiot, but I never heard instructions of changing a toilet-seat, and I've nearly heard of people changing toilet sets myself.
dezinspaaace 0
thats what google is for.
MRobvious750 0
Ok #18 I admit I was still attacking you from your comment in the last FML when you didn't read that it was OP's dog and not just a random one.
MRobvious750 0
But again #18 just read #19's comment. That really solves everything.
VinegarStrokes 0
7- you're SUCH an idiot! Are you actually trying to be this idiotic or are you honestly providing us with a view of your true self right now??
Yousuck24 21
23- Your right, I am an idiot. Or maybe some of us don't come across that one. Idk.
MRobvious750 0
My apologies #26 I do know the difference between the two of them I was just getting into my commenting a little to much.
marinus_fml 20
You mean too*?
MRobvious750 0
No #49, I had it right with there being "two" different versions. I used the correct term there.
marinus_fml 20
72 I mean the last too* in your sentence.
dreamering 16
You'll be fine as long as you know how to use the toilet. Seeing the expectations, who cares about the seat.
mollieOdare 0
woo :)
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Poo. :D
samuel18 0
too
tona01 16
tadoo (yeah my creativity died right there, i just invented something)
trimmerr 1
who
simply_improper 1
you could jus get some bleach and clean the current one
simply_improper 1
unless its because you found a homeless man taking a bath in your toilet
dezinspaaace 0
nope, the homeless man was taking a bath in the sink.
RainbowHeadache 2
Maybe she should be changing the hobo infested sink instead of a toilet seat. Priorities, op.