Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML
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Top comments
PaintTheStars 2
The kid loses in the end. With that parenting he isn't going to end out very well. fhl
Bag3l 0
Ydi for not have catching skills of a FIRST rate sports player.
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Comments (82)
Gobsnoglin 0
In America we say "good arm". I find it interesting how sayings like this are said differently in various regions of the world.
JokeMeister 0
Shoulda threw it back at dad, to show what kinda arm you have!
l0lkitteh 0
That's how you raise psychopaths. Sucks to be the teaching remedy.
fakeaccountX 6
must.....resist..... the....urge...to say.....HEADSHOT
jagrmeister721 2
The only solution that works is to beat up the parent in front of the child. It's a form of discipline that they are both lacking and desperately need. It tends to be so traumatic for the parent, that they experience an attitude shift that's fairly dramatic.
BloodandIce 11
Dude. I would have thanked that kid.
kappinlivy 9
You should get a giant tip for putting up with that crap
doglover100 29
Some people should not have kids.
fantasyworld 39
She'll be getting in trouble with the law when she's a teen and her dad will be sitting there stumped, wondering where it all went wrong.
Preethik 17
You should have saud "Thanks free candy!"