Username
France
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Aldoch
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
Anonymous
Sunnyvale, United States
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Black Cat 13
United States
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Anonymous
In the doghouse
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
mama bear
Fight Club Penguin
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Wmsys32pr9
United States
Nice family you've got there
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
shway
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
It's not what you think
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
tenthousandspoon
New Zealand
Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML
Shut up loser!
Not her fault nor mine
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
jessi
United States
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Top comments
Mclovin_95 0
haha what a little bitch xD
3ddie_the_head 0
Smart ass kid.
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Comments (292)
Mclovin_95 0
haha what a little bitch xD
hebes331 0
haha. awesome.
deliciouscake 3
IF YOU DONT LIKE DOGS ON ACID, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A DOG ON ACID.
nirvanafan980 0
ur daughter is awesome.
iamelrebel 0
you look like Yeardly Smith
Tasanasanta 0
Awesome name #1 You kid is a badass OP. But as much of a badass she might be.... she's 3 an you're an adult... so did you bring it?
tooGee24 0
hahah how ****'n cute is that=]. she told u alright
EricErection69 0
I like your daughter
PincheEdgarr 0
hahaha you called her daughter a bitch xP
KaarmaaBiitchzz 0
awwww cutie!!! :)
Elicy1984 0
I can't see the FML-situation here? 3year olds are testing all limits, so yes.. if she wants to find out the hard way if you meant it or not, let her.. or him, the child that is..
Elicy1984 0
ah it said daughter, nevermind then :)
madarchod 0
that girl is gng to be a bitch pretty soon
UtterCatastrophe 4
Kids just say the craziest things. haha my friends son walked into the game room at walmart, turned and looked at him, with his hand open, and said "gimme money dad" :)
andruha1123 5
I hope you brought it
KingDingALing 9
Oh my god XD Favorited! Hahahahaahha
rallets 23
Shouldve said "oh its already been brung" and slap the shit out of her self-righteous ass. let the wrath of 1000 angry gods rain fury on her without mercy. NO SURVIVORS.
black_knight402 0
do your worst
Carbonite 0
haha nice one, hope my daughter won't say that :p
Carbonite 0
haha nice one, hope my daughter won't say that :p
xlostwithoutu 0
Hahahaha xD
beingloved 0
Show her what you've got, OP. If nothing, bring Daddy into the situation.
catsareahmazing 0
Is she a virgin?
hannah1203 2
Imagine what she'll say to you ten years from now.. hehe :)
Amber_the_Great 0
what would daniel tosh say right now.....
Sonfang 19
That's when you don't wait for them to mess up, you take action immediately and spank her, then time out... OP I didn't always like my parents, but I grew up with respect for them knowing when I mess up there's punishments for it... good luck OP
MagneticGuitar 0
You must have been watching some film with her, where she got it from.
rebbee 0
WTF @ #175!!!!
zerobahamut03 2
did you bring it at least? lol seriously though, you better take care of her attitude now while she is young. she's gonna be even worse as she gets older.
hempat 2
^ epic
npswimmer 0
lmfao! smart ass little girl
cookiemobzta 0
kinki
solinv 0
Amazing.
sarcasticbitch 7
u should slap her and than say bitch you better recognise.
elementgirl 3
Hahahaha, I agree with #240. It's Definetly an epic fail.
OopsieDaisies 0
Kids these days. You'd be better off punishing her by taking away the tv and forcing her to play ouside for an hour each day.
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
184 that's not respect, it's fear
rkcraig53 0
beat her!
BECK_OR 0
well the cheek, ud wanta redden her b4 it's to hard ta handle
sne7688 0
omg, that's true. haha.... yah! now I'm no longer of being a mother in the future. I tell u, it's not only my nieces and nephews that have "lip". Even my dog has attitude. Lol
LoosechangeX 0
OP do not bother with anything anyone said that replied to one if they were not commenting on one. Everyone above this comment just craves attention so really they have problems and do not matter. "Everybody knows the only people who need crave attention as much as first comment replyers is 16 year old girls and Harley Riders."
macsterfun 3
i so loled at this. Op u got pwned by a three year old!!
baden18830 5
something unpredictably ignorant that his following of nearly illiterate fans would just love
tatababe 1
guys she's a little girl grow up and stop calling her a bitch so shes got guts
sniper4613 13
Op should have choke slammed her
3ddie_the_head 0
Smart ass kid.
roketkween 0
Eddie<3
aardvarkish 17
Old Eddie was better.
SAMHAlN 0
I concur with 158 I don't like space eddie but iron maiden is beast
schnitzel5 0
ftw
xxBrokenHeartxx 0
haha love it<3 little kids say the cutest things but idk kinda smart ass
bean_dip21 0
Wow, this kid has potential. I'll buy it off you for 50 gold pieces.
acidburnz1107 10
50 gold pieces that's a lot of money these days LOL or was yrs BK when gold was 900 bucks an oz
Danizzle024 0
First.And but her on her place!
PYLrulz 17
first to fail
UrbanAdaption 0
Fail, man u just dgafed on "put" to be first huh?
Danizzle024 0
I typed it on my phone :/
Mclovin_95 0
u werent first i was:)hahahah and i think u meant put..lol
apriljoyo 0
fail
quite_bored 9
I'm also pretty sure it's put her in her place, not on.
Pmm368 5
Fail much? lol
derkaderk 1
haha not really 3 but good try
JoeyxCloud 0
Faaaaaiiiillllll!!!!
Slayerfan408 6
I woulda beat her ass
xxreikoxx 31
Several of you fail at using proper grammar. Go back to school and learn proper English before you consider breeding, please.
PYLrulz 17
DAMN!!!
penguins17 0
damn indeed that 3 year old must be tough
jeremiah889 0
first page
dreamr13 0
You should've looked that snivelly little brat in the eyes and said, "It's on." and proceeding to "bring it" like it's never been brought before. That's what real parents who aren't afraid to be parents do.
ilovefatcats 12
slap tha bitch! ( in the bum kid couse) :D
Mirorbo 27
Kids are getting more and more gutsy as parents continue to lose authority and spine.
3ddie_the_head 0
Agreed.
pin_up_666 0
couldn't have said it better myself
ZleveL 0
double agreed.
ZleveL 0
triple agreed
ZleveL 0
over agreed agreetacular! agreeing spree! agreetrocity
PYLrulz 17
so you assume op is gutless, and didn't bring it? also heard of kids say the darndest things? I'm sure some of you at a young age didn't say something smart
Mirorbo 27
Fuhohoho....I think you've made your point, Z. And PYLrulz, if OP had to make this an FML, I am going to actually assume they did nothing to adjust their little darling's attitude.
PYLrulz 17
maybe the fml is that they did indeed brought it, but a little too much
doink 0
Or maybe the FML is the fact that the OP has a toddler who talks smack?
FFML_314 12
Why are you guys guessing what the FML is? We can all read. :P
Chrisskiies 0
Ari, not everyone can. Some people guess and are lucky. lol
Sparkey 0
A toddler talking smack is not an FML. Unless you don't dare to do anything about it.
Senseless_487 29
I think you've hit the nail on the head when it comes to parenting nowadays, Sparkey. Not saying that about all parents, though, so don't hate!
MadamGeek 0
I really do hope some of the people commenting are joking, and realize the difference between a spanking and an actual 'beating'. There is a difference. It's part of a parents job to restrain themselves.To have a controlled temper. To learn WHEN and to learn when to stop. The reason people are so down on spanking is because parents, I admit, do take it way to far sometimes. Or the word 'abuse' is too quickly thrown into the mix. Time-outs are a perfectly acceptable form of punishment, but, a quick swat on the behind wont kill them either. A quick swat never filled me with killing rage or a feelings of violence or hatred. For being a 'spanked' child, I'm actually quite a nice and polite person and was considered an overachiever in school. My parents received many compliments on my attitude. I do not at ALL, see myself as an abuse victim. Half the time, I can't even remember all the spankings, let alone cry out 'abuse' over them. I've seen the no-spanking parenting method, and it worked great on one, and was useless on another. I've seen the spanking method - same results. Regardless of which method you use, most kids will grow-up and do whatever they want to do anyway. Really, we have no right to judge other parents parenting styles so harshly. When really, it's all just over a little swat on the behind. -Sorry for the LONG LONG LONG rant.-
xiaoxaio 5
i agree and if you hit them, it's "child abuse" but as RayWilliamJohnson says it " if they deserve the ass whoopin it aint child abuse" i no so many kids at my school that need to be hit by thier parents.
emala1096 17
I was spanked as a kid many times, and I'm perfectly fine and love my parents. the wprd child abuse is thrown around too much these days.
FeedtheBrood 0
did you do it?
kazzythesavage 0
epic win status...
katelynjoy 0
haha smart ass...that's awesome
mrfruits 0
slap a hoe
RedPillSucks 33
Is that like Arapahoe?
mrfruits 0
you have to start teaching them young.