Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (392)
strokesie 23
Maybe you shouldn't bring your 5 year old, dumbass.
DuckyDave 6
Maybe the child had no where else to go
miZscrZee 0
Then he SHOULDN'T GO. and stay home to watch his own child. --online shopping??
killjoy1 0
You dum **** do you have kids? If so you don't deserve them if you would neglect a 5 yr old
Enslaved 38
This was the first year I didn't go Black Friday shopping. I have had enough of dealing with the ******* craziness that comes along with it. Sorry about your daughter, hope she's okay but people are extra insane on that day. No place for a young child. It's like throwing her in a pit of wolves.
smoke_eater05 0
I probably would've gone into a rage and killed the guy. I think I can claim post traumatic stress...haha Long story short, you don't hit a kid. Bad judgement on the parent's side or not, there are things in life you don't do. Like trample over a kid to catch a fly ball at a baseball game. WTF?
thegreat8 1
+100 Avenger
ladycamo 0
I think im the only one who knew what that meant...
ladycamo 0
I think im the only one who knew what that meant...
sexynarwhal 6
Oh CoD, how i love you..
ExhaustedLove 0
Why would you take your 5 year old daughter to a black Friday sale? & yea that guy wanted his Xbox badly...hope your daughter feels better though
dhardesty23 8
the stories of black Friday madness! there were two little fights at wal mart!
kroy2130 0
Did you at least get the xbox?
BiGaL12343 7
If a fully grown man hit my small child, I think I would do more than hit him once in the nose.
arkid24 1
You should sue. Thatshits illegal
Icecream93 4
I remember when I was 6 and that happened to me xd my dad kicked his ass. You did the right thing xd.