Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
iMagzzzy 0
If anyone ever touched my kid I'd beat the shit out of them.
DuckyDave 6
Omg I'm so sorry!!!
DontClickOnMe 28
I hope he got banned too.. Poor kid.
samcrump 1
I'm sorry but you deserve it who brings their child out on black Friday?!
miZscrZee 0
First of all-- WHY THE **** U TAKING UR LITTLE GIRL TO BLACK FRIDAY??? Second-- poor baby, hope she's okay..u should of been the one who got hit for being a DUMBASS taking her to dangerous places!!
DreaKnoxville13 0
that's good you punched the dude,but its not fair that your banned from Best Buy :p
metallicshadow 16
that sucks man, so many savages out there on black friday. but at the same time you should know better than to take such a young child with you. I'm not saying this because I dont like kids, but I really find it annoying when i'm in a big crowd (that's bad enough) and there's little kids running all over the place and/or blocking the way.
deefan101 11
I would sue... That's a legit lawsuit
Bebbo_fml 21
I would send a formal complaint to best buy asking why the other guy wasn't banned for injuring a small child. But op you really are an idiot, as is any parent who brings their kids into such an aggressive environment. Either find a babysitter or do your shopping online.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
...and this is why I only do Online Shopping.