Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
mrsvickybear 9
SUE THAT BITCH
macdre89 0
I would do worse :/
YourBuddyDave 0
For all of you people villainizing this poor guy for bringing his daughter BF shopping why don't you stop and think a little? He might just be a single parent that can't afford to buy his kids awesome things at full price so he saves up all year and braves the crazies for them! Maybe he couldn't get a sitter, and had no other choice if his little girl wanted her Christmas present this year. Just saying... *violin music stops* OP target was almost crazy free, and xboxes were only $20 more than BB...next year bring your iron knuckles!
Trebie 6
This. Also, just because the little girl is in the store, doesn't mean some jerk has to hurt her.
YourBuddyDave 0
The toolbox deserved more than a broken nose...there is no excuse for a man being less than polite to any woman, let alone a freaking child.
CurlyChica808 4
That's so awful omg. If I was your daughter I would be insanely proud of you. Sue his ass.
GetTheFuckOut 7
Lol. What was your five year old daughter gonna' do with an Xbox anyway?
sdb023 4
YDI for taking your kid. Get a babysitter.
YourBuddyDave 0
Do you think you could reserve me a spot on this perfect planet where babysitters are aplenty, free and always available?
QfiggyQ 10
They're called family.
Brittaneyyy 0
this is why you don't bring kids to black Friday!
Drummer389000 0
This is why full grown guys don't hit kids.
bandkids4life 0
Awww I'm so sorry
Okayitwasme 0
I cannot believe how materialistic our world has become! I do not celebrate with Xmas trees, lights and fancy decorations that are a waste of money! We just have a nice meal and watch movies. The week after Christmas is when we buy and only if we can get it for 1/2 or More off! I got tired of paying full price! I worked for an arabic family and I spent the xmas break with them before I was married. I learned that it was all about money and that Christians were being brainwashed to think they NEEDED to buy that crap. Right from childhood Christians tell their babies about Santa and the Easter bunny, that Santa brings the toys. So kids get all worked up thinking they are bad if they don't get a gift that they wanted from Santa. Well, I learned that other cultures reap and make tons of money off these holidays. I refuse to give them my hard earned money! I also ensured my kids have those items on my terms! Not societies!
Trebie 6
...And this relates to the FML how?
Okayitwasme 0
Buying senseless shit, for a senseless holiday! Having children subjected to violence? Only in America would someone get punched over a toy! If it was for food, then my sympathies go out to the guy!
Okayitwasme 0
Hello, they were out fighting over a toy that was purchased under the pretenses of the holiday! It's related! Don't go to the stores and buy useless stuff, don't take your kids. If you do then it's your fault! Needs and wants my friend. I don't confuse them!
ih82bl8 2
I smell a law suit
BlackBlazeCobra 16
What an ass! I agree with some of these people, you should've called the cops on him. It's him who should be bannedfe Best Buy, not you. You were defending your daughter, after all. FYL for sure. And hers too.