Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
ArielTheMermaid 17
That sucks but why did you take her with you?? Doesn't seem very smart to me.....
skyeyez9 25
You need to complain to best buy corporate office, and the media so they can get a copy of the tape to show the entire world who this piece of shit is who would hit a 5yr old over a discounted game.console.
plinkor 1
While I feel so bad your daughter was hurt. You're a horrible parent for taking your kid out during Black Friday. People have been /killed/ in the damn crowds for a stupid deal you can get online on the next Monday.
ladycamo 0
have they really been killed? or are you exaggerating?
plinkor 1
There was a story back in either 2008 or 2009 that someone working at WalMart was trampled to death because of the crowds, I knew someone who was unable to go to that Wal-Mart because of the incident.
shotgun479 4
I wouldn't give a damn about being banned from best buy if some one did that I would spend my last time in best buy given that pile of shit a concussion too
Drummer389000 0
Break a tv over his head Haha
Inciter 33
You should sue his ass for assault. Black Friday is crazy, but no one should hit a child.
KindaFunnyRight 8
How horrible! Props to you best wishes for your daughter
chels1994 11
he deserves to get the shit beat out of him... hope your daughter's gets better though, OP
darkmis1 18
Get the tapes and take him to court. Say you were defending your daughter. I would've punched him too.
thisblowsaton 4
Um, why would u bring your five year old Black Friday shopping? This event is notorious for violence, trampling, punching etc.
Drummer389000 0
You should've beat the shot out of him. If you're banned you might as well have had some fun.