Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
ohmandapants 17
You're a good dad for defending your daughter. However, bringing her out on black Friday was a bad judgement call.
cooptx 0
Well for a dad it makes sence for a mom no.
ohmandapants 17
No, it makes no sense at all. Black Friday is ******* intense and children need to be at HOME.
419 0
Wait where does it say that OP is a man?
ohmandapants 17
^ seems most plausible
l3gita7xfan 0
What a ******* asshole
scarmen 2
why would u bring your daughter shopping on black friday knowing thats an insane day to go shopping!?
IronMaiden45 0
well at least you did something I would have hit him too. also tell them to look at the cameras to show them who started it
dregg22 2
Why would you bring a 5 year old to black Friday in the first place
21jason 9
Next time instead of a fist fight yell food fight! That will throw him off guard
flockz 20
hit him with a flat screen.
Capt_Oblivious 10
Nothing like the holidays to bring out the 'best' in others.
skyeguitar 0
It makes me really sad that there seems to be no human decency anymore. Possessions and money are more important to people than other human beings. And having a day like Black Friday just furthers the notion that America is going down the hole. A day where you go out and spend money on bigger and better things that you probably don't even need...and a lot of these people are probably poor (since they're willing to hurt others to save a few bucks) or the ones complaining they can't find jobs. Get your priorities straight.
Blueocean7 19
Spot on!! Agree 100%. It's truly sad when people get like this over materialistic things. And children should never be touched by strangers at all!
monagro 22
Hit? You mean he slapped/something similar to your daughter so he could buy an Xbox? Was there only one left and she had it? If I understood it correctly, that's aweful.