Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
bitchengucci 0
Damn that sucks! But why the hell did you have a 5 year-old with you anyway?!
juturnaamo 29
Wait; You're from Texas. Couldn't you have just shot him? No one to complain then.
bjr1208 3
Dude your a badass
rebelfarmer19 0
the basic bottom line is, MEN DONT HIT WOMEN! i dont care if its a young girl, or your girlfriend, wife etc. thats bullshit. ya'll can say what ya want about the parent leavin her daughter at home and whatnot, who carea? it was her decision. what needs to be addressed is that ****** who hit the girl
Amandabobmaxwell 4
Damn, why would you take a 5 yr old to a black friday sale????
johncrb 6
And THAT is why the Black Friday sales should be banned!! Too many crazy idiots out there willing to do almost anything just to same a little $$$ And you are one of them.
joee182 3
sue that asshole why the **** would he hit a lil kid thats plain on stupid on him and on best buy for banning you. if it were me id beat him with the xbox.
lilly98ish 4
You should have known not to bring a five year old I'm 13 and my parents still won't let me go but that's so unfair cause there's a difference with a grown man abusing a 5 year old girl and two grown men fighting eachother
hellodeandra 8
If he's enough of a scumbag to punch a little girl, then he's a sad excuse for a man. He's probably completely alone in life and pathetic. At least be glad that she's okay, it could be worse than a concussion, and that you have a little girl, he probably can't find a woman to have a baby with.
SoNotForYou 5
Ydi for taking your kid out black Friday
Trebie 6
So a little girl deserves a concussion given to her by some maniac over an x-box, because OP took her shopping on Black Friday? Yeah... Please never have children.