Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (392)
arcottrammathorn 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Being more upset about being banned from best buy than your daughter bring punched: Epic fail at life
BSwag40 0
The last thing he said "and my daughter has a concussion" doesn't mean anything I guess..
docscientist 10
Reading comprehension failure.
SpartanCEL 6
Your mother had an epic fail when she gave birth to you
Jrefinne 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why'd you get your five-year-old daughter an Xbox?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Why not?
ArielTheMermaid 17
Who said it was for the daughter? It could have been for an older brother or cousin
screamo_neve 12
Or that kid down the street.
Amandabobmaxwell 4
Why not? Assuming it was for her.. My son is 5 and he has an xbox. Get with the times man.
bizarre_ftw 22
Way to miss the point of the FML!
musicmaster13 0
I agree!!
Linebacker74 8
She wasn't necessarily getting the xbox, she may have just been in the man's path
Fylminesawsome 5
Good on you. I would have done the same thing.
brenkite 5
I would choke him out and take the xbox
yodas0da 12
dude WTF is wrong with people?? are they so cheap & desperate now that they think hitting children is acceptable? hope your daughters okay... i hope you hit the bastard hard.
tbagmofo 3
There cheap cuz the economy is horrible
Drummer389000 0
No excuse to hit a kid. Just sayin...
seanoc69 7
Whole new meaning to gamer rage
grannygruber 6
You should have called the cops and had him charged with child abuse. Come to think of it, maybe you should be too for even taking a child Black Friday shopping!
jayebird66 5
I agree. People were fighting over Paula Dean pots & pans at the Walmart here. Really crazy.
Carrotkidd15 5
Black Fridays are crazy...
Carrotkidd15 5
Black Fridays are crazy...
Carrotkidd15 5
Black Fridays are crazy...
suavesuave 2
Why did you take your daughter there