Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
missstashee 1
That is low. Go you for hitting the guy right back.
WinterBeauty17 0
Wtf is wrong with him?! I would've told best buy the reason I hit his ass in the face was cause he hit my 5 year old child. People like him should die in a corner -.-'
BadSuerte 0
Why would you bring your five year old kid to this in the first place?
lleej 1
You should've sued the guy for injuring your daughter!
clumsily_yours 12
I think this is the first time I have ever said this but YDI. Who in their right mind brings a child to "Black Friday Sales"--don't you read the news? Grown people get trampled, what makes you think a child would be safe from that? Anyway, not to be a "Debbie Downer" or anything...I do see a little humor in this when I play the presented scenario back in my head. I picture an old degenerate man who lives in his mothers basement, who only came out on Black Friday to snatch an X-Box to keep him occupied for another year. He immediately gets pissed off when he spots said child with said X-Box and bum rushes her...said child's parent sees said incident and punches said degenerate in the nose. Imagine those events in rapid succession. Maybe I have an odd sense of humor, but I laugh whenever I imagine it. I am glad you got banned from Best Buy though, I'm glad they have a policy on Child Abuse. Maybe you should have taken some of the money you were going to save on DoorBuster Deals and splurged on a sitter--maybe next year you'll know better. Hopefully?
princesskiski 1
sue best buy! you had the right to defend your child
CurlyQute 17
That is the reason why I hate people... No grown man should EVER hit a five-year old with an x-box or anything Period
dansco 25
That is totally unfair! He hit your kid so you were in the right to hit the cnut!
Randomjulz 0
I totally heard about this!!
lesuze 5
YDI for 1) Participating in Black Friday madness, & 2) Bringing a small child along to Black Friday madness. I don't care what anybody says about "You HAD to bring her, you can't just leave kids at home!" - you can say that about some things, like doctors' appointments and true obligations - holiday present shopping is NOT a necessity! People get injured on Black Friday every year. People get *maced,* for God's sake. No sale is worth it, although I am sorry that your child was injured because of your poor decision.