Today, I was trying to flirt with a cute girl when I asked the barista, “Make mine just like hers.” It turns out she'd ordered a decaf soy lavender tea latte. I hate all of those words. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I ordered my usual at my local coffee shop. The barista asked, “Name for the order?” For some reason, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Latte.” So they called out “Latte” when it was ready, and I had to shame-walk to the counter. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML
Today, I went on a coffee date with a new girl. It was over less than a minute in, when I ordered a black coffee. She lectured me about how I "obviously" have a "seriously fragile ego." I just like black coffee. FML
Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML
Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML
Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JackWood 21
Creepy Copycat is not flirting. js
UnbrokenRose 13
How is that even flirting? 🤦🏻♀️
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
UnbrokenRose 13
How is that even flirting? 🤦🏻♀️
JackWood 21
Creepy Copycat is not flirting. js
Wadlaen 24
So, maybe you're not meant to be...
Hangryko 32
You're an idiot.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If I was a woman I'd be flattered that some creepy ******* weirdo I'd just met tried to impress me by getting the same drink order I wanted. And I'd be even more impressed that he was too much of a pussy to power through and drink it.