Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
spite510 0
Awww hope she gets better soon
iheartprinceroyc 4
Poor daughter of yours at least you defended her that's a good father right there
Ramell 18
And that is why you do not go to a Black Friday sale. You should've kicked the guy in the nuts. And I hope your daughter is alright.
sarcasticphase 1
No offense, but YDI because everyone KNOWS that Black Friday is INSANITY and anyone who subjects their poor children to it is an idiot. Seriously, learn to be a better parent.
MiszLadyLeo 0
Hey, you were banned for a good reason... Had it been me, I would've been in jail... Dude's face would've been broken, 'cause I would've beaten the dog $#!% out of him with the Xbox for touching my baby.
Shitfulasshole 1
You should have sued the guy... that is if you didn't punch the guy
Thebleedingheart 0
Who got the xbox?
Thebleedingheart 0
Who got the xbox?
anna15243 6
tell the store to look at the cameras. why'd you even rake you 5 year old there on Black Friday? that's stupid! sorry, but it is.
anna15243 6
good job defending your daughter though. that store is ******* stupid. how could they think you started it if you daughter had a concussion before you punched him? they're ******* idiots!! what store was it?