Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I can see a very good life coming from this kid. Maybe not a legal one, but a rich one none the less.
Mariebaz 11
Why did you allow your son to bring a gun- even a fake- into a bank in the first place?
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Comments (147)
Levvy 22
Apparently - Teller: Dim-witted for figuring it's safer to assume someone is dangerous and be wrong, than to assume someone isn't dangerous and be wrong. Parent: Not dim-witted for allowing their child to take a "realistic" toy gun into a bank. Child: Not dim-witted for threatening people with a realistic-looking weapon. Boy. Some people really will push blame onto absolutely anyone but themselves, won't they?
blueknight1st 26
It sounds like your son is the dim wit, not the teller.
wubbazugg 5
You need to control your kid. He's already on the fast track to jail, you should probably keep tighter reins on him. YDI
Britishkid9 1
I'm a teller and yeah, I would have done the same thing
abbasgirl 3
My nephew pulled a half-rotten carrot out of his pocket in church and started waving it around like a sword. They were sitting in the front row, of course. So yeah, kids do crazy things sometimes. But I don't see why you're directing your anger at the bank teller.
macboy1234 1
Why the **** would you let your kid bring a fake or real gun into a bank. I wish they would have arrested you and taken away your kids. It's idiots like you that breed out criminals.
MetalOcelot 5
Wow OP, you're a pretty terrible parent. Your child did that because he probably feels that it's ok to do things like that, which means you haven't taught him a damn thing. As far as I can tell from this fml, you and your son are the dimwits. But of course, OP, like so many other stupid parents out there, believe that their children are perfect little angels who can do no wrong, so everyone else gets blamed for their misbehavior.
Bludmagnus 13
I can say that, though this was humiliating for you, it also is another reason why one should be allowed to spank your child thoroughly in public for that. That child new precisely what he was doing, and unfortunately, that means that you have little to complain about as you allowed him to get to the point he didn't think twice about doing it. However, after blistering his butt till he couldn't sit down, you needed to have taken all of his toys away from him.
Squeak_xo 1
168# Why would it even matter if the police in New Zealand don't carry guns? doesn't mean that the kid couldn't have had a really gun, idiotic to let your child carry a gun into a bank.
oxbananaxannaxo 4
YDI. Letting your kid play with guns lets him know that guns are okay. And even if that's the choice you've made, why would you allow him to bring it into the bank? What an idiot.