Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
The Long Arm of the Law bends many ways.
xlord 27
Granny and grandpa are still rebels fighting 'the man.'
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Comments (59)
Pleonasm 36
The Long Arm of the Law bends many ways.
Damian95 16
Well that's a crooked statement.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^Stop twisting his words.
Qwermy 16
Best penis name ever.
xlord 27
Granny and grandpa are still rebels fighting 'the man.'
jojimugo 20
Grandparents + alcohol + new partner is never a good mix
yetanotherginger 19
*always. It's *always* a good mix. That's why we come to this site
Kashaqueetrah 12
Well is it?
KINGVELEZ77 4
Freak
ShadowNinja445 12
Says the guy with KINGVELEZ77 as their username.
chanellgymnast 17
Grannies strikes again!
iammeorami 25
no
IAmJad 18
Good question.
ironichalibut 24
Society has become so odd. Looking to the horizon, it looks to only get weirder. Buckle in people, there's a long, crazy road ahead.
ShadowNinja445 12
WEEEEEEEEE!
astralvagan 20
At least they didn't ask him if he wanted to be in a "senior sandwich"
MidnaLink 35
Nasty vision coming through! Must bleach brain NOW!
SerenaSerenadex3 13
Oh grandparents and their lack of filters on their thoughts. it's pretty admirable in my opinion.
AHappyGoth 14
Well the family cookouts should be interesting, at least.