Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was supposed to be let the bull out of the trailer and head straight home. Someone didn't latch the gate, so it just walked through between pastures. The bull and a cow went through, a horse broke into the cow lot, and another horse had a meltdown and wiped out in mud after trying to jump the fence. I don't like beef cattle. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, as I was going to check the mail, a huge dog ran into my house. The closest room with a door was the bathroom so I slammed myself inside and screamed for help. We live far from any neighbors and my phone was outside, so there was no hope of rescue. It paced outside the door for four hours. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
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Top comments
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe you can ask the owners of the small farm down the street to come pick up their rogue irregular bull? Just be sure to stay between him and the fine china to avert a real catastrophe.
andyyroxx 20
15- I really want to cover golf balls in sandpaper and shove them up your asshole after reading your comment. Come on now.
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Comments (95)
infamousq 13
Damn OP that is some Bulls#it!!!!!
PrincessPesa 20
Maybe you can ask the owners of the small farm down the street to come pick up their rogue irregular bull? Just be sure to stay between him and the fine china to avert a real catastrophe.
Vashen 5
Mythbusters taught me that bulls don't really like ceramic items and they avoid them like the plague :-)
Darksoul09 16
Yeah, Animal Control isn't helpful where I live either. sorry OP.
cgchamp89 7
Same here. They won't even deal with rabbid raccoons... So people call the police instead, as if we can do anything about it.
bwzwally8 15
I know that's some bullshit right there...
draegbomb 5
I live next to a cattle farm and the cows always break through the electrical fence. They make quite the mess in my front yard when they shit EVERYWHERE.
happle 21
Once I found a dead dog, so I called animal control. They told me to put it in a bag and drag it back to my front door so they could pick it up. **** animal control.
i_luv_dogs 10
In my area, it's actually good. Some neighbors of mine tracked a stray dog they saw to my house. After we cornered it, animal control came. They found out she had a chip using a machine. Hopefully the owner(s) will be reunited with the dog. Animal control isn't bad everywhere.
pathogeek 10
Un-bull-lieveable!
Connect 10
Don't all of you people have like a shotgun in the umbrella stand and a few handguns laying around? Go shoot it.
charvisioku 22
Yay, free steak for everyone.
Connect 10
I'd say its trespassing. And dangerous as ****. Clearly OP was acting in self defense.
narrowords 18
Really, 14? You don't think a bull is dangerous? Good. Keep believing that, and do me a favor and walk out in front of the next one you see.
cgchamp89 7
Yeah 14, he's safe as long as he's not waving a red blanket for all to see in his front lawn.
Enslaved 38
I own a few guns but wouldn't be able to personal take an animals' life. If it was charging at me, that's a different story but the OP is indoors and out of harm's way. There's no threat to kill the bull.
daner10 5
33- I've worked on a couple farms, an trust me, if you don't mess around it will usually stay away. Even if you do get close, most will just run away.
jisaac09 25
@56, there is a lot of myths associated with bulls. Most people have never really had to do anything with one so they just continue the myths.
Szaszaspasz 26
My favourite animal is steak.
EvilUndead 9
36. people have to go out of their house sometimes, you know. You know, to go to work/school, buy groceries, etc.
blankjack 6
What's so irregular about a bull?!
samasara 20
I totally agree! I mean, I just took my bull to a bull park, and let him run around with other bulls. And then we played fetch!!!
oj101 33
Animal control usually deals with stray dogs/cat, and vermin infestations, so it's unlikely that they have the equipment or facilities to deal with such a large animal that is quite dangerous.
rogerdodgeroz 4
Shoulda said the bill has had plenty of fibre so come please
hamrtym 15
"Sorry sir that animal is classified under the irregular BAF category, Big As F*ck!!"
TheAbstract 15
oh? and playing fetch is cool though?
strawberrywine22 30
That's just a bunch of bull!
LittlestPrincess 21
and they couldn't give you the phonenumber of an organisation that could help you?
a1f0sff 25
That's not entirely true. Bulls don't exactly see the same way we do, with the same range of colours. I'm not sure if they see in black and white but I was told that they don't see red. The only reason they go for the red "cape" is because it's moving.
liv_graham 7
Torro, torro