Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
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Comments (83)
iP00PonN00bz 0
I only do anything on my itouch...besides xbox and obviously having a social life :(
MoJoThundRpants 0
you deserve no sympathy, get the **** out there and score some pussy to make momma some grandkids! NAOW
nerdsgetmehot 23
Just go do something! You'll never meet friends to go out with if all you do is sit around and complain about it.
Agamemnon_fml 0
I don't find anything wrong with having a nice night at home all cozy watching movies. you shouldn't be so afraid that people will judge you.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#116 I agree! A nice night at home is perfectly okay. Not everyone parties all weekend, every weekend. I just find it silly that OP complains about it. If they have a problem with it, they should fix it.
Agamemnon_fml 0
I don't find anything wrong with having a nice night at home all cozy watching movies. you shouldn't be so afraid that people will judge you.
M357 1
Wow, you think spending your night at a bar means you have a life? That's just as pathetic.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#120 Who are you replying to?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Pretty sure they're replying to OP.
lonerftl 3
Well I'm glad to see I'm not the only loser around here... hahaha
xApril 0
Hah, that's lame. I update my status from a mobile device too and I'll be chilling at home. I'm just too lazy to get my computer.
JoeCactus 9
Well, being out at some bar is not the only way to have a life. But watching TV at home all alone certainly isn't.
mattofblades 0
honestly u sound like a puss.
koolkat27 13
y