Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
Mylifeiscrap8 0
when you post on facebook from the iPod touch it says posted by iPod touch
Lisa89 3
YDI. You obviously care what people think.. people on your Facebook... i.e who are your friends... so.. arrange to do soemthing with them then!!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
If your friends will judge you harshly for staying home one weekend night, you need to find some who are more like you. Even extraverts need time alone. Find a movie club or something; meetup.com and your local library bulletin board are good places to start. Or you can just virtually hang out in the FML comments; works for a lot of us. ;]
linx468 8
Will people PLEASE stop whining about their life sucking because they realise they have no friends! If you see the problem, deal with it, get some friends, get a boyfriend/girlfriend and STOP whining on this website about it!
aannddaayy 0
this isn't an FML it's more like GAL-Get A Life
usaywhatt 0
and whose fault is that???
thisgirl630 0
not one thing wrong with sitting home and relaxing, you don't always have to party.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
very carefully.
lilduke22 0
wow ur a no life
Hwikek 2
How can you hate Netflix?