Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML
Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
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Top comments
calichic101 0
i dont rlly think tht is a fml it just means u have no life
mcleantrain 0
u will have friends some day don't worry!
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Comments (83)
allmidnighteyes 11
Netflix On-Demand is the greatest thing to have ever existed.
loski87 4
I don't think people care as much as you think they do.
Drummerboy1234 0
yeah your kinda lame
Trollz4daLULZ 2
*you're *kind of
sarabear18 0
this really isn't a fml. some people like to stay home and chill on a Saturday sometimes. i do at least lol if you don't, get up and do something about it instead of complaining :)
sheribb 5
awww u sound sweet lol, going out can b sooo over rated
ocramavaf 15
even of you were out while updating your Facebook status you'd have no lofe
adorkable_spazz 0
lofe? haha typo!
ocramavaf 15
even of you were out while updating your Facebook status you'd have no lofe
sarabear18 0
hmmm I dunno. it's kinda like updating your twitter or whatever. everyone does it now and days :)
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Yes, as in "now and other days". No, wait, I lied. #32 is dumb. As for #29, I had a "lofe", but I flushed it. I think that pun... *puts on sunglasses* ...was rather shitty. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
TheNewGuy03 29
damn >< |the kid|
anorexicbarbie 8
God 37 that was amazing.
Ricky23J 0
y don't u stop being a bitch n do something with your life. poor ol' chum lol
anorexicbarbie 8
35 How is the op a bitch? Also, learn English.
flawedgenius 6
Maybe they were saving their money and energy for Sat night/sunday morning (the real weekend social peak time) but the question is, why update at that time of night from any device, because that in itself is a sign of sadness/failure and should've been busy/elsewhere. Or in bed with a partner.
BallinJ 0
ydi for being a lame who does stuff like this. loser.
ftheworld96 0
is it so bad to stay home? lol but yeah get a life please