Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
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Top comments
joliesbebes 0
well in situations like these it's best to ask for feedback. you could try "what am I doing wrong" or "what would you like me to do?" if she doesn't say anything then at least you tried?
alexFYL 11
FTR there is not really any such thing as "loose", the ****** is basically elastic. Even if you go from a giant 6" diameter ***** down to your bf's 1.5" diameter penis, the ****** would still retain its original shape. It's like a balloon. The only time it's loose is after child birth, and even then it goes back to... well, more or less the original shape. Kegels help. ... Furthermore, being loose would not change how bad the OP's lovemaking is.
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Comments (147)
doc_j 0
so much for women knowing what women want. sometimes with a partner u gotta let em know what to do and what you like sdi for thinkin ur a mind reader
jkklolz 0
damn!
raider27 7
Damn. Definitely really harsh. Tell her to help you out if you're that bad
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
lol i love ur pick im still laughing haha
SpeshulK 0
Wait... This was posted by somebody named katie... So the op is a girl?
cgchamp89 7
You're quick...
schmelia 10
Oh my GOD! They must be LESBIANS or something!!
forgetmenot91 9
nooooooo, his gf's name is Katie!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
OMG!! who ever heard of two girls dating!! the end is near!!! grow up
SpeshulK 0
96, I said this because everybody was assuming the OP was a guy, not because I thought a lesbian caused rapture was near or something
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
ohhhh. sorry but there are a lot of people on here like that
SteelCladAngel 0
at least she told you the truth would you rather have her lie, then months after the relationship is over have her say 'I faked every time' ?
alexFYL 11
I like having blunt partners. So that would have been semi-helpful to me, except for the original moaning. I would rather have someone tell me I suck at ____ than let me continue thinking things are good. What's funny is when I tell guys it's going to take them forever to learn how to make me ****** (only one guy has ever succeeded the first time, bless his heart)... most are understanding and want to know why, but some get angry. Like, WTF, you want me to lie? XD Also getting angry at me for something I can't control is not really the sexiest thing ever, don't give me a complex about our sex life so soon.
callofdutyking 3
HAHAHA now shes got a sense of humor
EvilHippyEmperor 0
Look on the bright side, she didn't dump you and tell you afterwards. Both of you should keep a sense of humour about it and have fun finding out how you can please each other better than you have been.
cloudy01 0
I like yo dog
Big_halla 0
Dam you must have a small dick and I bet you cant dance ether... The art of making love is to let your body do the talkin
shipman09 0
OP is a female, judging by the name anyway.
schmelia 10
The size of a guy's penis doesn't have anything to do with how good they are at having sex. Regardless, OP is a woman.
mintcar 10
Ether? As in any organic compound that contain an ether group?