Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML
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Top comments
junjunbun 28
I don't know why, but i find that adorable for some reason.
Tripartita 45
I'd love if this exchange continued. "You're quite welcome." "It means a lot when you say things like that to me." "Well, that's why I say them." "So, shall we have sex?" "Oh, gosh, why?"
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Comments (10)
junjunbun 28
I don't know why, but i find that adorable for some reason.
Tripartita 45
I'd love if this exchange continued. "You're quite welcome." "It means a lot when you say things like that to me." "Well, that's why I say them." "So, shall we have sex?" "Oh, gosh, why?"
manofmerr 27
From what i understand, this is how british **** works.
manofmerr 27
From what i understand, this is how british **** works.
manofmerr 27
From what i understand, this is how british **** works.
manofmerr 27
And now i know how that happens.
zyero 9
Because I'm feeling rather randy darling, was I too forward?
trumpet27 1
Yes You were way too forward
trumpet27 1
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
jcash52426 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Spread your legs women here comes Mr. Penis!
notmyfam 10
This one definitely needs a follow up!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
By sexually innocent, does that mean he's a virgin or just shy? Regardless, it gave me a chuckle!
lexyrebele 3
Aww this is so cute!
jaydoo 6
Did you then enter her and experience mutual ecstasy?
jaydoo 6
Was it sweet?
ElizibethRose 4
I find this sweet