Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML
Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
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Top comments
Judus_beej 0
you should have said depends on the size. the smaller the more costly and by the sounds of it you need to get a loan from the bank.
rave_noises 0
He sounds fun. Invite him over for tea and crumpets.
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Comments (94)
Mirorbo 27
Classy....
sexieeduck 0
oh come on .. give him his house warming gift ;D
harbqll 0
Were you dressed like a ***** at the time? Maybe he sa
harbqll 0
Maybe he saw you on the sidewalk and thought you were working.
akaashR 0
well atleast you'll get action
W4X 0
No Suckie Suckie long time? You suck.
m31976 0
love thy neighbour.... ;)
Sh0rtiRunner 0
*neighbor
Iskaria 0
Who wants to bet the neighbour isn't actually a pervert, it's just that OP was dressed like a streetwalker :P?
Quest_ 13
Yeah, women are usually to blame for their own sexual harassment.
rusrsbrah 0
exactly!!!!!
zenti 2
It's so nice to see that people think that sexual harassment is funny. That guy's a moron, and I hope that the OP won't have to see him all the time.
karmaslave 5
Ah, another douche reveals himself. ^
BBYTigger 0
66 ur a loser get a life
perdix 31
A charming new neighbor . . . and a potential satisfied customer. If you are coming up short on the rent, you can count on him for a steady stream of income, that is, if you are any good at rendering the service in question.
pokemaster2468 0
dick way 2 put it (but very creative)
Flutterz 3
So you write PIG in huge letters on some paper and GLUE it to his back window.... have fun scraping that off and maybe learn a lesson while doing so....
starfuryt550 3
his lesson to you would be quiet time with his d in your m.
starile 20
ooooor key it into his car? Either way, nah. OP should take the higher road on this one.