Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML
Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
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Top comments
Judus_beej 0
you should have said depends on the size. the smaller the more costly and by the sounds of it you need to get a loan from the bank.
rave_noises 0
He sounds fun. Invite him over for tea and crumpets.
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Comments (94)
_krispy 0
so you look like a hooker aye.. :L
Nutz321 0
sounds like the start of a romcom
RedPillSucks 33
Tell him that his wife/girlfriend/mother charges 50cents. He should stay with that until he can hang with real men.
_krispy 0
just do your job i dont get why your complaining ..
mintcar 10
Money is tight. He just wants to make sure your prices are reasonable. Nothing wrong with being a little thrifty.
bigdaddy18 0
don't look so good and things like this won't happen
JanisEvans 10
So stop dressing like a hooker then. Problem solved.
starfuryt550 3
Hahahah my bad I didn't mean to come off too strong...your face is nice.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Did you say anything back? As tempting as it is to shoot him a witty and scathing reply, that douche would probably take it as encouragement.
meteor_stream 9
Only if the said answer wasn't "Five years in jail!" =)
WiFi_ght_Club 0
Are you sure his truck doesn't just need new ball joints?