Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
The sweet smell of unsuccess
Today, it's the 3-month anniversary of adopting the "I don't have the slightest chance at success" attitude at work. In those 3 months, my boss, my coworkers and my boss's boss have all agreed and our relationships have greatly improved. FML
Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML
Get up off your ass
Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML
Kinda sus, dude
Today, I found out people are suspicious of me at work because I do a good job. FML
Scapegoat
Today, I was told I was being fired from my job after "5 months for poor performance." I helped lead my team to the highest possible success they’ve had the last 4 years. FML
The Dilbert Principle
Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML
Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML
Today, I gave my boss two weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML
Top comments
rieebee 23
Guess you found the secret to success at your job then!
Miss_Chevious 37
at least your boss appreciates you now
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Comments (55)
Dodge4x4Ram 46
when you need something really bad vs. when you don't need it & it finds you. I can relate
stingray112 24
Yeah I mean sometimes trying super hard at something (assuming you did) can make you rlly tense and more susceptible to mistakes but if u don't care about making mistakes anymore you are less likely to make one most of the time
rieebee 23
Guess you found the secret to success at your job then!
mds9986 24
Maybe OP was trying too hard and being more relaxed caused him or her to do better work.
johnfulcher90 12
lmao I think everyone is better at everything when they stop giving a shit
Tournesol143 28
Peter Gibbons, is that you?
ajs1987 15
I gotta watch Office Space when I get home now.
venomousflower 24
It's funny how when you stop caring you do better then before. Good luck finding a new job because apparently your boss think what you do for the job wasn't good enough until you did nothing
pete9913 23
maybe you just took it too seriously before, laid back, noncommittal works better. keep it up!
Miss_Chevious 37
at least your boss appreciates you now
Redmai 22
Keep it up?
tranced_ 45
Nice mantra!
Puffytruffles 18
I aspire to be you.