Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I slightly hesitated when she asked if she was beautiful. I am blind. FML
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went back to Germany. He lovingly said to me, "I will never find another girl like you. Unless I rip off her leg and tear out her eye." I’m an amputee, and was born with a blind eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML
Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLDeep 26
That's a great line. It's too bad he didn't save it for when he had a good opportunity to use it. Something like: "Where's my keys?" "Right there in front of you on the table." "Oh I can't believe I missed that." "I guess we just aren't looking at things in the same way."
Jazzo 1
o there's a joker in the house
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
ClairebabyXOXO 0
Hahahaha that's funny :) fyl!
wettcherry 0
I didnt think this 1 was funny. Thats ****** up. 2 all u assholes making jokes u wouldnt think it was funny if sum1 did that 2 u. Bunch of lame *****!
angel080394 7
im sorry that really sucks. hilarious tho!
Queen_of_Night 20
Man that sucks! From one owner of a lazy eye to another... Try to look at this situation from a different angle (I have one so I can say what I want!). You don't need him!
mandypandypants 4
Lmao. Your ex boyfriend is hilarious. Can I date him?
Varagon_fml 0
Ppppffffff........ PHUQUIN hilarious! That was the best one yet!
notsoluckypup 12
Suckage... :(
IneffableLullaby 13
Wow, your now-ex is a douche. I'd say it's a blessing not having to deal with his ass anymore. :)
miss_sunshine716 0
what a douche.
SdCounty33 0
You see... Life is very complicated. You have to learn to look at things from a less serious point of view. Once you do that and learn to laugh at your self you'll be more content.