Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML
Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML
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Top comments
Blue_Eyed_Beast 7
How do you know if someone is a vegetarian? Don't worry, they'll tell you...
Ninjafriends 1
He should know that cows eat grass, and are still fatties like you.
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Comments (79)
Ninjafriends 1
He should know that cows eat grass, and are still fatties like you.
El_patron 0
great tats ^
itsbecca 11
at least he wasn't talking about gay prostitutes.
Blue_Eyed_Beast 7
How do you know if someone is a vegetarian? Don't worry, they'll tell you...
piinkdutchgiirl 0
i dunno what other way there is to find out? im one to =) i always have to tell my friend over and over again cause they tell me i 'dont act' like a vegi.. how the $*@( does a vegi acts like? right a human being
KeepTalking 6
He means that vegetarians are so proud of themselves that they tell the world when no one really cares:)
ACSthebeast 16
damn that's so true, they don't stfu, nothing special about you. I think its shit
dragonaair 5
Nothing wrong with vegeterians. My brother is one and he's healthy.
Aerious 0
The old man called OP fat; doesn't mean she's unhealthy.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
fat=unhealthy
TwoZeroOZ 2
#6, your brother isn't healthy, he's a vegetarian. #41, OP never said she was fat, she could just be a little plump, which is perfectly healthy.
piinkdutchgiirl 0
lol you know that like 80% of the cases of people with overweight would lose weight if they stoped eating so much meat? ( sorry if i make to many typo's im dutch ) and if a vegi you can save the world.. cause the place 1 freaking cow need to eat life etc before he gets killed.. there could be standing three's.. and you knew that cows really SHIT CO² ?
mikuxxhatsune 32
#70 Did you know 82% of people on FML make up statistics? Also meat isn't the biggest problem with obesity. Normally it is an unhealthy diet like fatty foods cooked in a lot of oil like fast food or takeaway.
PSQ91 6
Big deal...
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
I knew a girl who was huge and was a vegetarian for years, what is up w/that? Something to ponder.
blue_ducky 1
just coz vegetarians eat fruits and veggies doesnt mean they have to be super skinny or that theyre healthy. they can still eat junk food like chips and soft drink and pizza. i was friends with one and she was pretty chubby because she only ate junk food.
docscientist 10
It's about caloric intake...not what you eat really.
asinforasin 1
I haven't eaten meat my whole life and I'm not skinny (I'm not fat, but I'm definitely not skinny). It's not just about what you eat. It has to do with exercise, metabolism, calories, etc.
jessxoxo28 5
well, this is from an old man so what do you expect
DocBastard 40
If vegetarians only eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Livinia 11
humans
fuzz97 23
cocks
mrahhhhh 21
Eating too much nut based products, OP? The first thing that comes to mind when I think of fattening vegetarian food is peanut butter. Can't blame you, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are the most kick ass very quick foods ever made.
stronghand0331 17
They eat all of humanity. I think the real question is, do vegetarians eat animal crackers??
solecism 0
no you can't. twinkies have animal fat in them. read the ingredients.
DuffBeer_fml 0
That's vegan, not vegetarian. There's a difference.
poptarter 2
wow. ur cute!
katplayer 4
@39 ... And that's not it. Vegetarians don't eat any byproduct of animal slaughter. Vegans don't eat any animal product at all. Vegetarians are not free to have gelatin, animal fat, etc. but are free to have eggs, milk, cheese. Vegans have none of those.
ayleyyasuko 0
I believe 14 was just saying that vegetarians can eat cake and sugar all day and still be veg. maybe "twinkles" was just a bad example. I think the word vegetarian kind of implies that one eats a lot of veggies/fruits, but in a lot of cases it just means you're NOT eating meat n stuff. the focus is abstaining rather than obtaining fruits/veg. most vegetarians I know eat tons of pasta and starches... not so heavy on the vegetables.
docscientist 10
I guess carnivores should eat automobiles then.
sloaan 0
Sorry 13, but that's such an annoying question. Are animal crackers made of animal products? No. So vegetarians can eat them. I suppose eating Sour Patch Kids must mean you enjoy eating children, therefore a cannibal? God.
l0lkitteh 0
Win @34
asinforasin 1
And nutella. Nutella is addictive.
Zmeilerr 22
So you prefer two cabbages over one big long sausage?