hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
alex_vik 1
Boo ******* who, you haven't had sex, so what?
wh0regasm 0
hahahaha
sikanderimran 0
Super dude. fyl
ohhhsnaaap 0
Well that's what you get for sticking your penis into anthills.
Tehalon 0
Stop trying to put ants in your penis and grow up so we won't have to read these lame ass 'FML' stories anymore. There once was a time where the FML's were still good, what happend to those days :(
jjofearth 0
How the heck did you get an ant to bite your ****? More importantly, why?
Musemusic88 0
Your penis is NOT an ant eater, stop putting it in ant hills.
jSOPURE 3
I think you'll live. :(
JBeckLGB 0
That would be correct, yet ants do not bite, they urinate on you... And great joke #4
thecrapblog 8
Ants do bite you stupid ass, trying to act all smart and shit!
tbweffect 0
Your pathetic, probably ugly as sin aswell