Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML
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Top comments
crackawithcheese 0
Man that sucks, ants are just little bastards
joanjett 0
I ******* HATE ANTS.
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Comments (139)
crackawithcheese 0
Man that sucks, ants are just little bastards
zbajis 7
Nom nom nom.....
mstarxo23 2
I hate ants . We don't even need them on earth. We can live without them. Ugh..mother nature
laneylovesu2 3
They are hard little workers and probably decided to rob you everything you had, just because you destroyed their home! You deserved it;)
FurryPride 9
Better than ants in your pants.
eminemchick 19
dont be a hater 7, i find ants frickin sexy:D
Keyman1212 14
I'm curious to know if "red ants" is what we folks in Texas call fire ants. Because if those were fire ants, **** your life, hard. I knew of a family who actually lost their 7 year old son because he got bit so much.
TenderizeMe 0
So if there was one ant, how could unot Anticipate the others?
EvilPotato 15
I hate fire ants once I got bit by one and my foot swelled up.
EvilPotato 15
I hate fire ants once I got bit by one and my foot swelled up.
ihasbrains 10
7 - I wish that were true, but its the circle of life and unfortunately we do need ants :( Though I think pigeons could go...
Friaza 29
Atleast you didn't wake up with ants all over your body.
swimchica22 0
12- keep the lohan's... Just PLEASE take away Rebecca black.
Pixxio_O 11
41- we can do without Justin Bieber and Charlie Sheen too...
elmogoezRAWR 0
It's Wednesday, Wednesday, oh he'll yeah it's hump daaay!
a_lenzmeier 11
And Taylor Swift. Just sayin'
swimchica22 0
46- don't hate on Taylor.. She's actually a good singer.
Wakepro21 0
Heyy
WHITE3TIGER 0
1-how yo pic is jacked up man
PutItIn 8
Bust a cap in his ant brain.
echogekko 7
I imagined one of the ants went like, "HE MAY TAKE OUR LAND BUT HE WILL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!" Im weird...
zachherbert 10
No number 12. It is time for the Snookies to fall. They are getting out of hand with their fist pumping and Guido and guidoettes.
allstarfave 0
Ya I agree with you!
fmlaccountcole 0
i stopped reading this fml when I read the,"i was camping out under the stars on my trampoline."
tona01 16
39 and ticks, and almost all parasitic animal that doesn't take part on a bigger food circle
bizarre_ftw 22
And they creep me out to ******* Hell!!!! OP your life is definitely worth an FML but hey! With you there's an added bonus!!! :D years and years of therapy and a constant nagging urge to kill, and yet at the same time stay very far away from, every ant on the face of this earth!!!! :D aren't you happy?! :D
tbc91011 4
O_o
Fenthik 4
Cool story bro.
jarrettd 27
If sleeping with everyone then writing a song complaining about them is singing then sign me up.
katialovesfml 0
Ant are EVERYWHERE!
Lanceeden 12
Well if a big ugly giant killed one of my friends, I would be pretty pissed.
HowAreYouToday 34
If someone hurts my friends, I would eat them.
nadyy14 8
Once my cousin chased a chicken into a barn, only to come out having chickens chase her....there are things that really sux
Lanceeden 12
51 - That is called cannibalism my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies.
sandyandellie 5
57- hahahahahahaha.
HowAreYouToday 34
XD that was clever... I loved Charlie and the chocolate factory
XxToriwolfxX 0
If someone hurts my friends, I will eat them. If someone were to hurt my friends, I would eat them. Problem solved.
KaanTech 0
well red ants known to be eating meat when they found am i wrong ?? grrr where are my firebats ??
heyy17 10
Get ready to be attacked :/
josebeto1 6
By tiny creatures. No lol, OP can win :o
Superflykid 5
I Think he already did xD
sxe_beast 11
Fire ants can actually kill you in mass numbers...especially if you're allergic to fire ant stings. I was in a nasty situation where I was thrown off a horse and rolled right into a fire ant colony. I was swarmed and I went into anaphylactic shock. Not cool.
chiddy_bang71 0
They don't attack, they write strongly-worded letters.
chiddy_bang71 0
They don't attack, they write strongly-worded letters.
chiddy_bang71 0
They don't attack, they write strongly-worded letters.
Gnarlltrugg 0
I see what you did there...
josebeto1 6
I saw what she did there first...
joanjett 0
I ******* HATE ANTS.
josebeto1 6
I could tell.
stormracer101 5
Me too!!
joanjett 0
I was just making it clear to you.
josebeto1 6
It's ok it's ok, I understand.
RainbowzSkittlez 6
& ANTS ******* HATE YOU.
MangoRico1 1
See what happens when you pick on someone smaller than you
misshighjinks 5
Bugs suck in general. All of them.but why were you sleeping on a trampoline?
all4pooh 4
Me and my best friend used to sleep on her trampoline all the time. We'd bring a bunch of blankets and pillows. It's fun
elmogoezRAWR 0
For my next plan, you will need: Duct tape Lye Justin Beiber poster Lube Marker Air freshener A cucumber A mirror Come back up to those ants and be all "Bitches, you best not mess with this gangsta" and if they don't surrender immediately, use the items I have listed above. Repeat. For bonus points, pimp those ants out to some bees.
bawlerr75 9
Umm what's the cucumber for? Aha
JTHolloway200 0
Elmogoesrawr everything you post Is soo funny
lorenzoman77 7
Haha I almost forgot about the FML after reading this.
fmlaccountcole 0
justin bieber and a cucumber...sounds like you have some fantasies with her..ew.
WCARlover 35
:o red ants are the worst! Just reading this gives me the shivers
snowman420 0
Fry them over your campfire
pieintheface 0
No, put them in your kettle.
bms1996 12
well it's a good thing I read this.I was going to sleep on my trampoline tonight!