hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
drpepperking10
United States
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
TheStudentNurse
Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Anonymous
Cebu City, Philippines
Jaws
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Top comments
quantumoftruth 0
did you return the favour? bet you didn't you selfish bastard
ZiggyMorrison 0
hahahahaha well depending on your age I wouldnt worry too much perhaps your 12 in which case you've got plenty of time that sounds kinda painful though did it atleast swallow?
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Comments (198)
fragilefreedumb 0
to all the people that are making comments about hygiene... what does that have to do with anything? just because an ant crawls on you, it doesn't make you a dirty person. they clearly could have been sitting outside and wearing shorts and it could have crawled up his leg and inside. and to all those calling 'fake', that's retarded. just because its never happened to you [and really, like you'd complain?] doesn't mean it never happened to someone else. grow up. on one other note, there are tons of different types of ants. some sting, some bite, whatever. geez, stop calling people out on stupid shit. its annoying.
cinderelly 0
dude, why were there ants in your pants?
isKinetic 0
wtf were you doing that would cause an ant to bite your penis?!
Nate_87 0
Were you humping an ant hill?
iEuphorical 0
How did an ant get on your penis is what everyone really cares about. So?
MarkO_fml 0
An ant didn't "bite" you. Pinchers are not the same as mouths. Sorry to tell you that you still haven't gotten your first bj.
Powahouse 0
How did an ant get on your peenie? Haha, better question...was it a huge ant? I probably wouldn't even notice.
RandomFool 5
No.
ilovefmlife 0
ROFLMAO.
Demonchild 0
Ummm... i think id be too ashamed to put that up.... dunno what else to say.... Oh yea im gona rub in the fact that i got a g/f and she gives me ******** D.C.