Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
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Top comments
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Talk to him when he's sober.
The_Hitdude 12
Is that a serious question? OF COURSE she would rather him vomit on the floor. Have you ever cleaned puke out of a fish tank? Doesn't sound quick-and-easy, does it?
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Comments (175)
yadisingh 5
Looks like he had a great time
aileen15 15
better then on the floor or carpet or that would've been 10000 times worst changing the carpet oh man it's hell
twerp21 3
True. The life of a carpet is much more important than that of a fish.
ByronJess 17
I wasn't aware that you have to change your carpet when it is vomited on. There are such things known as carpet cleaner.
tbribri33 0
Should of let him party
cheyennerosi33 0
Lolzz look he just needs some louded wake up and not allowed to take anything for it believe me he will luren btw ppl all teens drink at one point it's not a big deal better him do it now and learn from it then do it later and possibly die from it btw just cuz he drank don't make him a delink wit
xxDefiantxx 0
Grammar Nazi sense is tingling
pookberry 4
Yikes. That was painful to read. :(
linkinpark98 24
Aww man! It got moderated! :/
lizard399 0
Haha YES!! Ah, stupid teenagers.. good luck.
crazykid300 6
Maybe the fish was out of food and he forgot 2 feed it
xxDefiantxx 0
When he wakes up with a hangover forbid him.from leaving the house and play the cybals and loud screamo music all day.
gabblala 0
Should've just let him go!
KiddNYC1O 22
No, discipline is important.
gabblala 0
Trust is too.
KiddNYC1O 22
He snucked out.
phatdaddy62 23
um, Obviously he couldn't be trusted!
Davick 0
now you got something to hold over his head for years to come haha!
Guitar360 4
Bahahaha!!!