Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
Today, my husband walked in, lit a cigarette, burped, farted, opened two beers at once, then sat down in his armchair in his boxers to watch anime. My three best friends sat on the sofa thought it was hilarious while I was mortified. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
speshlk37 13
You wouldn't like me when I'm horny...
flockz 20
HULK SMASH!! if you know what i mean....
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Comments (146)
rougeter 2
****
unknown_user5566 27
Asshole. See, I can call people names, too!
gracehi 33
Douche. See? I can anonymously sling monosyllabic insults over the internet too. I guess that makes me as cool and witty as you are.
gracehi 33
Dammit, Kleeklay! Beat me to the punch!
tygerarmy 35
Hulk Smash!
Mossadchick 5
Haha whenever someone says this I think of Hulk smashing Loki like a rag doll. EPIC
kelissa_fml 16
Puny god. XD
unknown_user5566 27
Since you are a female, how exactly were you showing physical signs of excitement? Unless you were wearing a skirt with no underwear, I'm not sure I understand how they would've known without you telling them...
zombiibabii 4
She was probably just acting REALLY enthusiastic and her friends thought she was putting way too much thought into it, lol.
BitchynessIsGod 4
Nipples, they get stiff when cold or horny. Am I the only one that knows this? (Not trying to be rude there, just not sure how no one knows/remembers.)
zombiibabii 4
Depends on how padded the bra was, lol. If she was wearing a flimsy one, or no bra at all, the nipples could have definitely given her away.
unknown_user5566 27
Yeah I didn't really consider the nipples, since most girls wear padded bras these days. That's a bit strange if OP's friends were looking closely enough at her boobs to notice such a thing, haha.
rdrr 2
Their penis gets hard... Duh!
McNerdyNerd 8
When they're about to poke an eye out, it's hard not to notice haha
TheDrudgeChild 4
Yes 82, when females are aroused, their penises get hard. Makes perfect sense.
destroyer69 0
Does no one consider that this might have been a shirt less party because that came to mind.
unknown_user5566 27
Oh lord. You're one of those guys who assume girls try on each other's bras, have tickle fights, and indulge in pillow fights during sleepovers, aren't you?
GlobalElephant 16
They don't ?!
byakko4 6
You're not the only one whose had that conversation. My best guy friend and I have a list of which characters we'd **** and in which order.
doctorhook86 25
I assume Hulk is #1 on your list.
byakko4 6
Actually, Loki is. Then hawkeye, Natasha, hulk,Bruce, tony, cap, Thor, coulson, fury, Maria hill, and Darcy.
Gman1234gman 7
what the f***... me to!!! :-)
rs89 20
good! so I'm not alone :)
Fmlsea 28
time to get out and get a real man
martin_martian7 11
Hulk horny!!
HayJay316 9
I talk about that at band camp LOL.
Pinkfreak43 5
Is it bad if I thought that too? ;D we're just girls, it's natural. No worries
pinkpixie06 11
There's no shame in getting excited about that! :)
Calyx_fml 22
Say no more!