Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
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Top comments
hehe_oops 2
I don't understand how you could do that unless you had really runny shit bad luck though, ew btw when you said the kid "popped out" I imagined him popping out of the toilet just before you got there
050294 0
Haha, wow. FYL
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Comments (96)
Sekococo 0
#25 some people may not perfer to use the bathroom in public places or after a long trip no acesss to any bathroom. @perdix though it was funny , am hoping you diddnt confuse the OP wording with poop instead of popped.
perdix 31
Thanks, Sekococo, but you know that I like to look at the stories in absurd ways. Maybe the kid went in to look for his gerbil;)
CallMeHush 1
^ You are The Man!
alexisthename 0
Did you kick him in the balls, shit break?
alexisthename 0
I hope your shit wasn't shaped like a frog. There have been a lot of amphibian-shaped turds floating around lately.
alexisthename 0
This post reminds me that I need more fiber in my diet. Is there any fiber in beer?
perdix 31
Look for Exfeel-S, the high-fiber beer from Korea. They invite you to buy a case and try to join the Triple Crown Club. You are in when you get loaded on this stuff and expel from three orifices simultaneously. Alex, you don't need to tell me if you succeeded, or how your failures went;)
alexisthename 0
I just drooled on my keyboard. You had me at Korea.
jeterman67 0
ewwwwwwwwwwww
ScalyManFish 0
wumbo
pieceoschmidt 8
haha awesome
Asstazztic 8
Hahaha this is epic.. Love that little nigga :)
turdburgers 0
Did she pop out of the toilet?
__ChR1s__ 0
haha bet your loving your neighbour now