Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML
Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Please drop by the nearest Man-office and hand in your testicles; your dude licence has been revoked.
PB4UGAME 8
I think you mean Bieber.
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Comments (53)
qtdi 0
Hahah, wow.
suburashi 0
you should be a singer if you can go higher than a 4 year old girl.
xHaniffax 0
You're a loser
lolzforfun228 3
i really hate people like 13 who reply to the first guy even when theyre comment has NOTHING to do with the first guys so that they can be on top, because it makes them feel like theyre accomplishing something in theyre pathetic life. CONGRADUMAFUCKINGLATIONS! YOU WON! YOUR THE SECOND TO THE TOP ON SOME WEBSTIE AND YOU ARE(N'T) IMPRESSING MANY PEOPLE WHO DONT EVEN KNOW YOU! YAY!
lolwut_fail 0
One word: tenor.
AntiChrist7 0
i would say: eunuch
PB4UGAME 8
I think you mean Bieber.
vuragado 10
No, tenor 1 sounds about right
spillproof 0
haha it happens to the best of us. don't you just love that adrenalin rush?!
Phallus_fml 0
37 years old and still "more high"?
Everlasting_fml 0
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking. Fail?
idreamofpeace 0
He meant "more high-pitched." That is an accurate way of stating it.
Prawn_fml 2
Uhm. So what? How is this an FML?
I_AM_MOE 0
he's a man whos scream is higher pitched than a little girls. think about it
Crunchy_fml 0
did she have to give you a lollipop to make you feel better
x0crZydr3am3rz0x 0
LOL this makes me want to try this on some guys.
Nissi 17
Hahah! That's awesome. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Velorium 0
Agreed, so what? Big deal. Quit whining.
Houdeka 0
Your fault grow a pair and doubt it the screaming sounds like the new mikes hard lemonade commercial retard.