Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
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Top comments
Rinat_fml 26
Always. Remember. The towel. This almost happened to me once.
person961 9
I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbor came to your door everyday from now on
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Comments (66)
Rinat_fml 26
Always. Remember. The towel. This almost happened to me once.
Rinat_fml 26
But I'm sure your neighbour will understand!
Welshite 40
Those seconds used to wrap yourself in a towel could be crucial in an emergency. I would do exactly as OP did if a family member started screaming for help.
acke01 14
I'm sure he was quite happy about it!
Toolishing 22
Believe it or not, not everyone wants to see people's junk. That's why everybody wears clothing (besides to protect yourself from the elements).
devildog562 33
29 the only reason I wear clothes is that you get thrown in jail if you don't.
Kougeru 12
I was gonna say.... If her daughter was being kidnapped every second could count.
HanBroman 20
you run around butt naked when your daughter is home?
HanBroman 20
i guess im the only one who thinks that is super strange. Is it an american thing? i didnt know it was common for people to see their parents naked. I heard once that in the US its normal that everyone has been seen naked by their doctor. i thought even that was weird, unless youve got something wrong. not one person has seen me naked since i learnt to dress myself, besides my boyfriend and he's the only naked person ive ever seen (in real life, besides babies). is that normal for anyone else?
Vitotaylor36 13
50, I'm betting if you heard your child screaming for help, and you were bathing, you wouldn't take 10 ******* minutes to dress, and then go see what's wrong. Did you even ******* read the fml???
sayyestothedress 24
THANK YOU #51! I agree with you, #50 it's actually kinda normal, and even if it isn't, why the **** would you automatically assume it is an "American thing" that's just being racist!
Wakachulak 22
You know, you can actually wrap a towel around you while running. It's really not that difficult.
Shade1982 21
#50 seems to be living on a different planet than we do... Or is still young enough no medical check-up was yet needed. @50: This has nothing to do with US...
HanBroman 20
i thought it may be american because the US is a different culture with different healthcare. how is that racist? i assumed it was an american thing because the person was from america and ive heard lots of stories of kids in america growing up with their doctors doing "full body physicals" or whatever its called. if my child was screaming id put on a towel. no one wants to see their mums ******, just sayin. and how could that possibly seem racist? i wasnt being negative. i was just asking if it was normal for your culture.
LiamakaLiam 12
?=Big Nig (no space)
EverestMelting 23
I'm not sure whether or not your comment was offense or not.
Hiktmae 20
I'm not understanding...
MeanBeagle 22
is this a fat slur or racial one
deet124 11
Sounds like the right way to greet a guest.
person961 9
I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbor came to your door everyday from now on
MidnaLink 35
And she couldn't say someone's at the door for you?
Swandive235 27
Whoops...
MeanBeagle 22
... there it is. whoops there it is
clemsi 20
26 I blame you for the ear worm I'm going to have all day
MidnaLink 35
Welcome to the Space Jam, Space Jam! Here's yo' chance, do yo' dance, at the Space Jam! All right, all right, all right.
laden_swallow09 35
My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. They're like, "It's better than yours." Damn right, it's better than yours! I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.
Ilikepie82479 20
#41, I think that's the first time I've seen that correctly punctuated
devildog562 33
Looks like the neighbor got a better surprise then a puppy.
iAmPaul 49
Than*
KK3137 31
Or maybe the neighbour got a good surprise (better than he/she was expecting) AND a puppy.. It's hard to say which the neighbour would have appreciated more, though the OP may or may not have preferred this one..
sockoiid 13
Bathrobes were invented for that exact reason. You should probably get one.
tony1891 22
all he wanted was some sugar.
FML_14u2c 14
...and he got it!
xAmybbx 22
Once when I was in primary school, I saw two people trying to climb into my garden using a ladder. My older brother called my parents home and..my dad and other elder brothers rushed home and came down from the car holding 'parangs'. Police was also called. And apparently I saw wrong and they were just outside doing something by the roadside. :'( Try not to chastise her too much since in her opinion it probably is an emergency. Next time if there is a real emergency she might not voice out.
warsun 27
Cool story, but that situation was absolutely nothing like the FML