Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML
Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
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Top comments
Phustercluck 11
I would think, since you're married, you would be passed the 'fart barrier.'
shakey23 1
you sure there wasn't a little bit of shart?
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Comments (132)
shakey23 1
you sure there wasn't a little bit of shart?
agm2010 0
I just added this FMl to my favorites! how funny 'get it off, get it off!!' just warning ya op but I would advise you to prepare for major teasing from him.:) it's cute tho <3
tpreston 0
this fml made my day I lol'd
tattortotamus 0
hahdha me too, it's damn great! I can just picture a man jumping around shrieking that. :P
meowmeowwkitty 0
that is NOT cute.
MushyLuvsU 0
97 Is a sunburnt party pooper. D:
sexxy_skater 0
110-Agreed.
rowbot4 0
ewwwwwwwww girls have cooties!
flamegrilled123 3
that stupid girls don't fart
jonan1212 5
Thay toot!
Perksofbeingawal 0
Toot it n' boot it
abalgatti 0
are you sure you didn't blow the covers off?
Hanimon 0
OMG that's hilarious lol
Dr_Jalepenos 0
lol @ CutieBooty
Phustercluck 11
I would think, since you're married, you would be passed the 'fart barrier.'
Cenobyte 10
lol I don't think the 'fart barrier' applies when said fart is On Your Leg.
amiebran 3
I agree, husband needs to get over it!
kcnutt10 1
Fake - Girls don't fart.
MrBoredGuy 1
exactly
IMveryHUNGRY 3
my exact thoughts!
redbluegreen 41
Exactly. How else do you expect girls to be as light as a feather?
xNikkiez 0
My boyfriend still actually believes that haha, I'm not gonna ruin it for him though lol
yesiyes 0
blow him a lil kiss
FuttBuck 0
LOL, that'll change the whole subject, won't it? (;
PedoPancakes 7
Obviously, you haven't been near a girl for longer then 5 minutes.
JustinThunder 8
Well don't just stand there, get it off!
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
haha
yayforcheesecake 0
why didn't you fart during the sex? this FML would've been better that way.
XxCesar503xX 0
LMFAO
rockon10 3
hahahahahahahahaha!! How is this an FML?! That's hilarious!
kcnutt10 1
Because a bunch of people were moderating the FMLs and when they came across this one, they voted "yes."
QueenPersephone 9
Thank you Captain Obvious for that astonishing insight.
kcnutt10 1
She asked, I answered.
testthecoal 5
in the most mundane way; who are you, bill nye?