Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
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Top comments
philzilla 1
Two things: first, you may need glasses second, good throw from a distance
marinus_fml 20
You don't learn anything in soccer practice anyways...
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Comments (110)
generalfubar 0
That's why kids should stay out of adults business
P_to_the_AM 9
aw... FYL for being neglected by your father so much you cant even tell who is and who isnt your dad!!
mintcar 10
Just apologize. It was after soccer practice so he probably thinks you were kicking around the ball anyway. He doesn't need to know that you were aiming for him.
RedPillSucks 33
I've been hit in the abs (stomach), and the face, and it does hurt quite a bit.
Se37 0
What a good job you play soccer not basket ball...
CallMeHush 1
Strange little cockblocker.
aztec37 0
so have I; it's not that bad. Especially since throwing the ball will get a lot less velocity on the ball than kicking it.
ImaginaryFoe 1
In a match it might not hurt. Getting hit when you're not expecting it and the adrenaline isn't pumping is not a pleasant sensation.
maskedman 9
glowstixx loves balls in her face. I think that's the point she is trying to make.
Sparx1_1 16
How old are you? 10? Put on your big girl panties and take the bus, then you won't have to worry about whether daddy is late or not.
siv97splat 0
there might not be a bus, I know in my town there isn't at that time, and some parents don't let thier kids go home alone- I'm 13 and my parents dont let me ride my bike or walk by myself
SGMperth 0
fyl