Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
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Top comments
philzilla 1
Two things: first, you may need glasses second, good throw from a distance
marinus_fml 20
You don't learn anything in soccer practice anyways...
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Comments (110)
thecrazyasian 3
girls shouldn't play sports.
deidree 0
you totally deserve it for trying to throw things at your dad x___x
jaro_fml 0
who does that? you should have totally pull a 'steal'
UnderageDrinker1 0
how do you hit there head while aiming for the feet? must be the reason your in soccer and not baseball
squeegee523 0
Crikey, mate, but I'm a ******* idiot. I nearly always get my shoes on the wrong feet, and my mommy has to button my jumper for me, and put my mittens on! Life's difficult when you keep getting kicked in the head, like me. OP deserves it for sucking so bad at throwing a ball. How can you miss that much?
Cinn_fml 23
Good to know you're a polite individual worth my time in responding too. /sarcasm. I never said the OP didn't deserve anything, I asked why he felt the need to resort to throwing things rather than finding out why his dad was late in a more constructive way.
squeegee523 0
11- is there a valid reason for you being so ugly and stupid? OP deserves it for sucking so bad at throwing a ball. How can you miss that much?
chuk_norris_fml 0
Where WAS the real dad do you think? Overall it is an FML because a) kid is embarrassed as **** for hitting the wrong guy b) he had to wait there for so long c) from the tone of the post, you can tell the OP is used to his dad doing these kinds of things
Cinn_fml 23
a) He shouldn't be throwing things at people anyway. b) We don't know how long he had to wait this time, and we don't know why his dad was late the night before. It might have been a valid reason. c) Just because he's used to it, doesn't make it ok for him to throw things at people.
poochpod 0
true but OP's dad should have more respect for her and at lest tell her if he's going to be late
Cassy334 3
first of all. that would really suck if it was ur dad. second of all. haha. it wasn't .