Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML

Classic Dave

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

Hi uncle, I'm dad

Today, I found out I'm an uncle. Normally this would be great news, except I have spent the last 8 years thinking I was her father. FML

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML