Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML
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Top comments
patacus 14
maybe he just has a headache
SqueakyChipmunk 22
No, it's called surprise intercourse. Rape is what today's music does to my ears.
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Comments (49)
SApprentice 34
He might not have wanted to have sex with you right then. Just because he's a man does not mean that he's required to want sex all the time. He could have had any number of thoughts on his mind, so you can't expect him to rely on cues alone. You said you just sat there trying to look pretty. What's wrong with actually talking, and saying something like, "Hey, honey, you wanna have sex tonight?"
dani72015 0
Maybe he needed some rest from your new born
griffy14 9
He's probably just an exhausted daddy. Sometimes men don't feel sexy themselves, especially after a long day. Give him a little confidence boost and try again.
rise182punkz 8
Try harder next time!!!
noisebox 1
Maybe he just finished choking the chicken in the other room. Did you happen to try bending over in front of him? I hear that usually works...
tildoorf84 7
we men, can't read minds, so speak yours!
Zehla 7
You can have a healthy sex life and a happy relationship or you can have kids. Made the wrong choice, looks like.
KiddNYC1O 22
Sportscenter must've ended.
ratorr2 23
I agree with #93. Don't play games and don't wait around for him to notice. If you want something then come right out and say so. You both will be much happier.
Blahblah9921 4
aww!;( sorry to hear