Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML
Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well that was rude. Also, "put a baby in me" is not sexy, even if you're trying for one.
lifeis4me 20
In his defense, getting someone pregnant isn’t usually sexy unless both of them really want a kid
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
He doesn't know how biology works -- fat women get pregnant all the time. Provided their men's dicks are long enough to get around the FUPA and make the delivery.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well that was rude. Also, "put a baby in me" is not sexy, even if you're trying for one.
Callyn 47
No, it's kinda hot. OP's husband is rude, but I'd get turned on by it.
lifeis4me 20
In his defense, getting someone pregnant isn’t usually sexy unless both of them really want a kid
bobsanction 18
Next time just ask him if he wants to bang like a normal person.
sickerthanyou 13
“Put a baby in Me” is really really really not sexy at all. What kind of man would be turned on by the idea of having to raise a person for 18 years????.
tounces7 28
You would clearly overthink it and ruin the moment. It's not meant to be something you take a long time to consider.