Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
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Comments (124)
BikerMike 0
Three beers in 20 minutes is enought to put most people over the .08 limit that many states have. does not matter if you are "****** up or not", it is the blood alchol content. for someone who weights 100 pounds, two beers and that short of time can possible put someone over the .08.
Celt729 1
If you only drove 30 feet, then they cant give you a DUI. They have to be following you for at least a mile. Or at least that's the law in VA.
sulitak 27
that's a dumb law then. in that mile you can do a LOT of damage.
Chris968 0
There is a commercial that's been playing lately. It says "Buzzed driving is drunk driving". It doesn't matter if you had 3 beers or 6, if you had alcohol you shouldn't have drove.
iironiicsmile 0
you just should have walked. period. lazy!
kellster 2
Drunk driving isn't measured in distance, asshole. YDI.
leero 0
what kind of people block someone's driveway when they park? i'm pretty sure you could get a ticket for that.. anyway, YDI because you thought it was a good idea to go get your car when you were "under the influence". shoulda just left it for the morning.
InkGothical 0
3 beers in 20 minutes? Jesus Christ!
awalkb 0
That's a good point...OP probably wasn't even feeling it at that point.
chea_chea 0
Driving 30 feet down the street after 3 beers is no big deal, I don't know what's up with everyone saying you deserved a DUI, I sure as hell wouldn't want to have the neighbors wondering why my car is in their driveway and possibly get it towed.
sulitak 27
there's this thing called street parking. OP probably wasn't in their driveway and that "30 feet" is a big deal.
lovely997 0
YDI indeed. Don't be selfish. That could have costed someone life. Dumbass.
rbueller77 0
3 beers and you were over the legal limit? Lightweight!
kidding_me 0
clever.