Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
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Comments (124)
Bryan_Z 0
Dumbass...lucky you didn't kill anyone.
lazorzpewpew 0
Yes, yes, in 30 feet from start. Your argument is sound and logical.
sallay 0
there was a party going on! you're telling me its not possible to hit another party-goer who might also happen to be leaving? or other people around the area? yeah and there's also no chance of me hitting a person walking a dog in my neighborhood either right? Of course I have more sense than to drive after drinking. Dunce.
sharpe15 0
3 beers in 20 minutes? yeah, ydi. big time.
291togo 0
It was probably more than 30 feet, but the reason this sound so common is because dumb ***** keep doing this shit. We had a dumbass get a DUI trying to move his car across the parking lot to be closer to his apt.
sulitak 27
probably had more than 30 feet to go and got pulled over after 30 feet.
Envirochick 0
Why couldn't you have left your car there and walked? YDI for being too lazy to walk the 30 feet home.
onizukasuplex 0
Shoulda taken a cab
DrAwesome 6
A cab? It wasn't that far of a walk. It doesn't seem like that much of a bother to just walk.
rip_andie 0
I hope you feel like an idiot. Thank God you didn't kill anyone.
lazorzpewpew 0
Thank God... oh wait, too bad your parents didn't use condoms - could have avoided spawning another illiterate loud-mouth.
twohot2touch 7
drinking andd driving is drinking and driving. shitty but what can you do if u get caught.
nice18 0
YDI It was unfortunate, and most people would have chanced it, but at the end of the day, you were driving while intoxicated no matter how short a distance.
sentran89 0
good God, could you not have walked and left your car parked there?
jolar1 0
Who drives 30 feet? Seriously.