Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML
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Top comments
lollipop77_fml 6
.."found him!"
KailyKii 11
Kinda sounds like it's from a movie.
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Comments (96)
KailyKii 11
Kinda sounds like it's from a movie.
MrKlutch 1
Get your liscence revoked. People like you make little children scared when they cross the street.
soccerguy2 11
If op's friend was wearing bright clothing like you are supposed to at night or reflectors then this would not have happened. I assume it is at night because how do you hit somebody during the day.
crymore007 11
On accident? (hopefully)
rallets 23
least you found him
TheRealBruce 12
Tell him he is dreaming he won't remember in the morning or tell him he fell down the stairs
Trix_Disorder 20
A bad movie.
graham11 14
ROADKILL!!
jrsylilballer6 7
Ron and sammi are at it again? Your a good friend jwow, don't worry
ieatcats 0
women drivers tisk tisk tisk
graham11 14
72- sexist bitches
ThatOneCanadian 0
hopefully he was so drunk he wont remember it, and you can tell him he got into a huge bar fight
zoPwNAgEzo 21
So the first thing you do is post on FML?
KiddNYC1O 22
That doesn't apply anymore. You must be new.
Jiplo 18
that is if OP didnt go to jail or anything like that
wolfgold2 20
42, how do you know
DorkVader 6
i was gonna say tell him his girlfriend hit him
ohhhsnapple 14
I'd say this is more of a FHL. Poor guy.
thisisafunnyname 12
Today, I figured out my girlfriend has been cheating on me with my best friend, so I broke up with her. As I was walking home, my "best friend" hit me with his hummer. FML
GothicAngel95 16
Wrong place to put your FML..
SgtStud 4
45, go play on the highway.
RadPenny 6
He was drunk...
graham11 14
45- wrong website for you to be on. Go back to Craig's list
markrs 0
21- should have said Dodge
blunttobluntest 12
Hope he doesn't remember anything once he wakes up!
draken389 1
cool
teague95 16
story
teague95 16
bro!
pudwoogie 0
Shoulda drove faster
Fenthik 4
This comment actually made me laugh so :p to the neg rates
organicmtdew 0
Yeah. They shoulda did that.
lollipop77_fml 6
.."found him!"
TheDog6 24
That made this FML 100 times better!
Meme1988 18
"Ops"
jworret 0
It takes skill to misspell "oops".
Meme1988 18
Lol! Even "oops/ops" has her own grammar nazi! How thoughtul of you
Ilikeurfmls 13
There is a movie like that!
RadPenny 6
You want a cookie or something?
alexiiiis09 0
10 points! You win!
sr101998 0
20 points if the OP hit him at a higher speed.
rallets 23
30 points if he jumps out of the car while moving
dasteve 0
He didn't feel it, he was drunk.