Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
isKinetic 0
woww you couldn't have WALKED next door?
epiclol 0
LOL NEXT DOOR.... i got in my car and drove 30 feet what a FAIL
Kdub 0
Breathlyzers work by detecting the alcohol exhaled from your lungs. Even if 3 beers could raise your blood alcohol content enough to get you a DUI, it would take more than 20 minutes for your stomach to absorb. That's assuming you had your 3rd beer right when you go to the party too.
proud_liberal 0
You are a dangerous alcoholic!!!!!
aznbillybob4sho 0
FYL because if it was only 6 cars, you could have waited til morning! stupid!
msbetsy 0
If his driveway was blocked by someone at the party, he should have figured out who it was and asked them to move their car when he got there. If it wasn't someone at the party he could have called the cops and had that car towed. It is illegal to block someone's driveway. This is a YDI because there is NO REASON that he should have been driving at all.
scdog 0
Three beers got you over the legal limit? What are you, 100 pounds? Though unless you're underage or maybe about 22 I have doubts that you were only at the party for 20 minutes if you really drank 3 beers.
CaptainPat 0
6 houses down= 30 feet? so all the houses on your street are less than 5 feet? what is it a mini trailer park for gnomes?
anonymous1588 0
YDI for having three drinks in 20 minutes and then driving. I don't care how far it was away, you could've waited until the morning.
jennbug 0
three beers, eh, whatever. Three beers in 20 minutes? Take it easy, turbo. If you got a DUI, you must have had at least a .08 BAC. Thirty feet may not be far, but it can still be full of obsicles. Besides, 6 houses in 30 feet? That's pretty impressive engeneering.