Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my sister gave me a early Christmas present. It's lice. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML
We were on a break
Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
We're on a break
Today, my girlfriend of almost 3 years told me we needed a break, and that we could try again at the end of the year. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Top comments
captain_hero89 22
I guess it's better than crabs...
Dave_Davington 34
Wow. I guess she must really bug you.
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Comments (28)
Mangascribbler 19
I honestly feel like the lice is a faster fix than the "break". Still though, fyl dude
korn02364 3
Gross. You're better off without her dude.
SpyroMello 29
Lice doesn't necessarily make someone gross. I had lice twice, and I showered daily. I only got it because I went to a salon for s haircut where apparently some sanitation codes were violated and a breakout of lice occurred. My parents didn't want to wash my bedding after I got rid of it and boom I got it again.
Miss_Whipped 43
I don't think he meant OP was gross for having lice, I think he just meant "Gross" as in "Lice are gross." Which they are.
bandaidstations 28
Nobody likes the idea of their person being infested with anything. I was always told lice don't like to live on people who have dirty scalps because they have a harder time feeding. A clean head is like lice nirvana so the stigma that you're "gross" if you happen to get them is stupid. Also, they stopped doing monthly lice checks in my county's schools. Apparently, because infested people aren't really harmed by the louse, it isn't worth checking. If they see you scratching a lot they send you to the nurse but there is no real prevention to keep them from taking over the schools
Dave_Davington 34
Wow. I guess she must really bug you.
captain_hero89 22
I guess it's better than crabs...
crudeandrudeguy 29
Uhhh, crabs are delicious. I can't think of a better parting gift than... Oh wait, nvm.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Ehh, I dunno. There is a new form of lice that so far has been resistant to treatment.
sweetbliss3 37
lice hate tea tree oil so use that for showering. and Listerine works too instead of the otc stuff, but you have to do it for 3 days though. just make sure you get all the eggs out. and don't forget to wash every single thing in your house. good luck.
rachelthelime_fml 29
I've also found that just using lots of conditioner, a wide tooth comb and a lice comb works, if ypu don't want to use tea tree oil or Listerine. You just gotta comb thoroughly, rinsing the comb after every brush. It took me three washes to be totally lice free last time I tried that method. Don't forget to get the nape of your neck!
dramaelf 37
Head lice or pubic lice? One makes this a significantly worse FML.
zedjaleaf1 11
Better than herpisifilaids ?.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Hypogonosyphilaids...
Tripartita 45
Aw, she shouldn't have! That is SO thoughtful. Now you're going to have to write her a thank you letter. In various bodily fluids.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Can't win em all Tripartita, if it's any consolation you come pretty damn close though.
Lalala579121 28
Or just put a dick pic in her new neighbor's mailbox.
chosha_fml 27
Now that's a lousy thing to do.
lexiieeex3 32
Just shave it, shave it all off.
ezrocks4u 29
...guess who gets to try out that "skinhead" trend that's been floating around!